Sunday, May 30, 2010

OF THE GARDEN OF ROSES

Knowing Myself Inside and Out

I grew up not with happy childhood memories. Fortunately, I was less affected by these haunting memories. However, there were times that these haunted me back. I should not have myself drowned by them. It has been my constant struggle to stay afloat. I would sometimes be so depressed that my feeling of doom stayed with me even for more than a week. Even if how I looked at things and circumstances positively, I would still be sad of these situations that I could hardly get out of them. I always ran away and never faced them squarely like a brave man that I should have been.

Until I met Julian. He started with a fable which took place in a garden. The garden according to him is my mind. If properly nurtured it could bloom in wondrous shades of color. In order for me to move on from my past, I have to change first my perception of things. There were just too many negative thoughts I am carrying between my shoulders. They have been wearing me out constantly and fast. I should control my mind before it will fully enslave me into oblivion.

There were three important things I have learned in the garden: focus on the heart of the rose, think in opposition and see myself clearly in a glass lake. I have to exercise my control over my mind. I should not let the external environment rob me of my clear thinking. I should see deeper more than just the rose bloom. If, however, negative thoughts and feelings start to overwhelm me, I have to think in opposition of these thoughts and feelings. See things in different angle, clear my perspective. Lastly, I should not forget to look at my reflections in the glass lake. These are reflections of my dreams - not who I was before, but who I am today and how great I can be in the future.

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