Life Has To Move On
After my ninth year of working, I asked for a rest. I was tired then, but was later on convinced to continue working. Physically, I begged to rest; however, mentally I was still willing to serve. Today though, I am both tired bodily and mentally. My mind is set already to rest, and physically, I am exhausted. I badly need a change of environment and perspective to see myself again.
I have grown much professionally with my current work. However, after quite a number of years working, I got lost and have forgotten about myself healthwise, never mind my family. Because of the nature of my work and the personality of the institution where I am at, there were things I used to do before that I have to set aside to maintain the integrity of my workplace.
I used to go out with close acquaintances before, but time and proper decorum do not allow me the same today. With this, I isolated myself and led a very lonely existence. The things that I missed most are running and mountain biking. I usually bring home work (which is actually my fault), so I cannot do both anymore. I have forgotten how to enjoy life and commune with nature. I am bored with how routine my life has become.
The predictable cycle of my life coupled with personal problems threw me into a fit of self-pity which spiraled into depressive moods that I can no longer understand myself some time. I have been very sad and lonely for some years now. However, because of the nature and demands of my work, I continue assuming a well-composed facade. I live two live -- I look so strong outside but I am an emotional mess inside. I want to slow down things and reclaim life's beauty that was intended for me to enjoy.
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