LIFE SUCKS!

Drowning to the Vortex of Nowhere

I felt so tired for two days now. Every time I feel so tired, I know I am depressed again. There were just so many problems that I had to face this week. Real life is supposed to be full of problems. However, I wish I will one day live in a place quite far from people (but not isolated) where I can just be myself. It is a place where I be the one dictating time, where there is no time prescribed to finish things or deadlines. It will be a place where routine is unheard of. I want to stay in a place where I do not have to think of when to eat and when to wake up in the morning. It will be a place where I live free without the cares of others or me caring in return. It will be I and nature, all alone. I want to run out of mundane problems that wear me off. Thinking of these problems leaves me so much tired.

I felt so tired the other day after waking up in the morning. I did not blame my workout for my bad mood. I just had so many small and irritating things bothering me. These problems were not mine but somehow I got affected by them. Thus, I decided to do my workout in the afternoon. I did not have the energy to do it in the morning. Maybe I was so excited for the change in schedule that I was not able to nap after lunch. Because of the hot weather, I usually take a short nap after lunch. I began my warm up and stretching at about 4p.m. and after two hours I was through with all – warm up, cardio, weights, abs and cool down. I felt fine the next day; however, I had a hard time coping up with the new schedule. I overslept until 4 yesterday that I woke up so groggy to start working out at almost 6p.m. This was too late that I ended up rushing on almost everything. Today, I went back to my usual morning workout.

I was not able to write anything yesterday because I was awfully tired. I know this is more mental than physical. I am now on my third week of working out and I am feeling and seeing results already. I feel lighter and I do not have difficulty breathing anymore. The slight muscle sore perks me up every morning as I wake up. The slight pain reminds me of little successes. I tried again this afternoon a stretch Adidas shirt I had, and I was happy it fitted me quite right. Last month, I could not get inside the shirt without looking like a bursting bag of potato chips. I felt happy. But overall, I am not feeling very positive lately. There are problems that are bothering me, and I hate when people think I seem to have the answer to every problem there is in this world. I would like to be happy for the trust afforded me but mentally I am so drained. I don’t want to live any more any longer. Life sucks and it is sucking me down the vortex to nowhere.