MISTAKEN IDENTITY, YOU MADE MY DAY

Hi Joe, I am Juan

Who's handsome? Definitely, I will be the first to say that I am. This Freudian self-worship may not actually be harmful; it even helps sometimes. If the confirmation, however, comes from others then I am doubly happy, it would resurrect my long dead grandfather from whom I have inherited my not-so-Pinoy looks. I have always been mistaken for someone I am not. In one of the high end restobars in Manila, someone congratulated me for winning a motocross event. I have never driven a motorbike, and someone mistook me for an extreme sports athlete. Cool! I have also been mistaken for a priest, not just once but several times. In one of the posh hotels in Cebu, I got past through the body scan and security check. The security personnel asked, "Father, are you attending the convention?" Yes, I said and I got in without the usual hassles of body frisking. To top, I have so many times been mistaken for a foreigner. It should have been the mixed of genetic grace. I am taller than the usual Juan. I got a patrician nose and I grow a lot of facial hair faster than my scalp. Children thought I am "Hi Joe". My former teacher thought I am one too. Just a while ago, coming from school, as I entered the house a fish vendor shouted, "Isda, Sir." I gestured No with my hands. She must not have seen it and thought I did not understand her at first. She shouted again, "Fish, Sir!" and that made my dreary Saturday all too sunny. I entered the house with a smile on my face.

MY GOATEE AND MOUSTACHE WITH A SOUL PATCH

The Barber Makes Me Street-Wiser that Ever


We're not definitely a hirsute clan, but men in the family do grow body hair faster than others. Both my paternal and maternal great grandfathers are of Spanish descent. Most of us men have patrician noses, wide foreheads (not patterned baldness) and bearded faces. I have two other brothers. I am not the most hairy. I am the more hairy. Our youngest bother is the most hairy of us three. Hair grooming has never been my problem though. I oftentimes sport a cropped hair. What bothered me so much is my facial hair.

I am always bothered by how much taking care of facial hair has taken so much of my time. Unfortunately, I happened to own a face so fertile for facial hair growth. From a clean-shaven face, it only takes a couple of days for stubble to become so irritating. I have tried an electric shaver, naked disposable blades and the newer high tech razors. I like razorblades the most though. It is the most convenient and efficient option for me. Electric shavers are not just my taste. They do not seem to be able to cut anything at all. Lately, however, I decided to grow my facial hair and leave it as is.

Because I got so tired of shaving every day, I decided to leave my facial hair. I just let the hair grow until such time that I really need to style it though. Obviously, I just don't have it grow wayward but following a particular style. I grow a moustache and a goatee with a soul patch. I keep all of them neat and cropped too. Just recently though, I have asked help from my friend barber to trim my goatee, moustache and soul patch the way he did his. My barber also sports a goatee and moustache with a soul patch. His, however, is a lot more controlled and looks cleaner than what I have. Well, he should know better.

My barber who crops my hair regularly also does my facial hair now. Today I just got back from him. I had my hair cropped shorter again and had my facial hair trimmed-moustache, goatee and patch. I also happened to be my barber's son's godfather. Whenever I have my hair (head and face) done, I also got to talk about almost anything. My barber just happens to know so much-from the grapevine or off the vineyard. This simple and mundane act of cutting hair though has become so much of a learning experience for me; hence, I always look forward on my next visit.

What used to be such a bore and tiring task has now become so interesting to me. It is not because I do not do my facial hair anymore now. I still do my daily maintenance shave. It's simply just that what I thought before as so mundane a task as shaving my facial hair has now become a learning experience for me. Being an educator, it is in the barbershop today that I learn how poorly our public elementary graduates are doing in high school. He asked me from where are our top graduates this year. I told him that they are not also graduates of our public elementary school. They are from other towns not from where we are and where we live. Very interesting indeed according to him.

I was shocked to also hear from him today that a hair treatment and rebond cost around $100. I cannot imagine myself spending so much money. No, it's not just my cup of tea to spend that ridiculousy big amount to have my hair look so lifeless that it does not bounce with movement. I was troubled before by my facial hair, but lately I have realized that getting out to meet people such as my friendly barber was worth all the trouble. Today I sport a nice beard which has always been the envy of some of my college students. Thanks to my barber kumpare. Today also I learn that a barbershop is a lab for life. I just have my facial hair done. I did not only come out more handsome than before but a lot street-wiser than ever.

HOMENS SANITY...VANITY INSANITY

The Frivolity of Youth, Vainness and Vanity

Vincent Van Gogh once asked that if boyhood and youth are but vanity, must it not be our ambition to become men. Nicely said coming from a brilliant but troubled mind. Vanity is indeed of youth, of the young and sadly…touted to be a sin. Sin or not, everyone aspires to be beautiful, to remain beautiful. Even if a boy grows to become a man at the expense of committing a mortal sin, the desire to be beautiful will forever linger in the heart of man. I myself cannot imagine growing up to be undesirable because I have given up on vanity.

Therefore, I have committed a mortal sin. I pampered myself today. I become enslaved to vainness and vanity. I got a relaxing full back massage, a refreshing facial and I got both my fingernails and toenails done. Pampering oneself is not to me vanity but a well-deserved reward after working for so long hours that span into days. Simply put, I just gave back something for myself, to take care of my body so that I can go on with life. Relaxing, resting and pampering both your body and soul have never been wrong. Even the good Lord rested on the seventh day. He got tired. How much more mortals like us?

Vanity equates with youth. Some good boys want to grow up to become men earlier than what their chronological ages allow them to be. They are the extraordinary men today, and I hope they have enjoyed life much more than most of us did. I belong to the group of boys who enjoy life as it comes. I did not want to let go of vanity yet, for now. I am very sorry with Van Gogh. I just have to disagree with the great impressionist. It does not necessarily mean that to be a man, a real good man, you just have to let go of the vain frivolity of youth.

Though I committed the sin of being vain, of being of the world, at least today I have rested, I have relaxed and came out all pampered…and never less of a good man I know I was, I am and I will be.