THE ESSENCE OF MAN

My Lenten Reflection

A lot is happening around us. Natural disasters have not been as common now as before. Crime is high, and so does inflation. Wherever you look, it seems as if nothing good exists anymore. I just read a book that talks so much about our stimulus-response action. According to what I have read, there exist a space between stimulus and our response, and in that space lies our choice. The freedom and the power to choose is our birth gift. Everyone has this power. Whatever bad stimulus hits us, our response is determined by our choice. Hence, we are not supposed to be affected by all these negative vibes around us. However, they have adverse effects on us because of our bad choice for a response.

WOE TO YOU, GRADES

What's in them really?

Four times in the life of a student, he is sucked in a swallowing vortex of fear for what he dreadedly calls as the report card. Every grading period is a struggle to all hard working students to stare point blank at their grades, passed or failed. A failed grade not only vouches one's lack luster performance but also carries with it a depressing stigma that maybe the student is not performing very well or worse, that he does not really know. All of these indeed are causes to fear for a student who fails.

When a student fails and when the teacher is "good" in all the real sense, the former may indeed have not been performing very well. It would, however, be prudent to note that grades are not solely based on performance alone. There are intangible factors that go with grades. A student may have been performing very well but his sense of time management may have prevented him from giving adequate and equal attention to all subjects. he may have some preferences and may have used up all his time on a few subjects only.

Behavior also counts in some subjects, most especially the non-academic ones. A student may fail because he is misbehaving inside the school. The students should remember that the vision of the school does not only stop at them acquiring academic skills but also for them to be able to develop good manners and acceptable behavior in the community where they belong. It is sad that a lot of students today are needing of good manners. There are just so many students now that have clouded perception of what is good, acceptable and downright offensive behavior.

The parents too figure in the school performance of a student. Parents are the motivating factors for them to excel. What happens, though, if the parents are not there? If the latter may not be motivating enough, at least there are people who may be deterrent for the student to be not doing his job at school. The parents may monitor the study habits of their children. They may also be checking their children for requirements they may have to perform as other evidences of learning. Sadly, some parents are not at home.

It is indeed frightening to receive a report card with a failed grade. How much more, failed grades! A student may not deserve the scorn when he fails precisely because there are intangibles that come with failures. Yes, he may not be performing very well, but his lack luster performance may have been due to poor time management and the absence of parents who are the cheer leaders on the side. Worse and these may not be easy to remedy is bad behavior. Simply there are students that are annoying, the school is better off without them inside the class.

OF THE GARDEN OF ROSES

Knowing Myself Inside and Out

I grew up not with happy childhood memories. Fortunately, I was less affected by these haunting memories. However, there were times that these haunted me back. I should not have myself drowned by them. It has been my constant struggle to stay afloat. I would sometimes be so depressed that my feeling of doom stayed with me even for more than a week. Even if how I looked at things and circumstances positively, I would still be sad of these situations that I could hardly get out of them. I always ran away and never faced them squarely like a brave man that I should have been.

Until I met Julian. He started with a fable which took place in a garden. The garden according to him is my mind. If properly nurtured it could bloom in wondrous shades of color. In order for me to move on from my past, I have to change first my perception of things. There were just too many negative thoughts I am carrying between my shoulders. They have been wearing me out constantly and fast. I should control my mind before it will fully enslave me into oblivion.

There were three important things I have learned in the garden: focus on the heart of the rose, think in opposition and see myself clearly in a glass lake. I have to exercise my control over my mind. I should not let the external environment rob me of my clear thinking. I should see deeper more than just the rose bloom. If, however, negative thoughts and feelings start to overwhelm me, I have to think in opposition of these thoughts and feelings. See things in different angle, clear my perspective. Lastly, I should not forget to look at my reflections in the glass lake. These are reflections of my dreams - not who I was before, but who I am today and how great I can be in the future.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHILDREN GONE?

Flores de Mayo as it is no longer as it was

I first learn God and the story of creation, and all that are in the Bible from my Lola Erang. She's not my grandmother actually; she is my aunt. When I was around eight years old, I attended her catechism classes done every May. In these classes, school age children were taught basic Christian prayers in preparation for the first communion, which usually happened by the end of this merry month. I could still remember going to the church after each class, joining other children in honoring the Blessed Mother in a month-long prayer known as the Flores de Mayo. After the mass, we then formed lines to receive attendance tabs which we exchanged for school supplies on day of our first communion. I missed those days not for the fun of them, but today, simply for its significance to my life as an adult.

This afternoon I attended again the Flores de Mayo. For many years now, I have observed that children who attended the novena became less and less. I was so sad today because there were even more beatas than children inside the church. I was consoled though because I saw some of my students there. They were volunteer cathechists. I wanted to ask what happened to the children. Where have all the children gone? I hesitated because I knew they could not also provide me with an answer. It was beyond theirs. It was even way beyond those people inside the church this afternoon. A lot of probable answers danced in my mind. All of them realizations of how much the older generation have taken for granted this significant event in a child's life - the Flores de Mayo and the memories that come with it.

This afternoon was the only afternoon again that I joined other children for the Flores de Mayo. Have I been too engrossed with life and the illusion that comes with living that I failed to go back to my authentic child self? When I was young, I believed that life was to be enjoyed and that life had nothing but happiness to offer us all. It was when I started going againt this law of nature that I started to suffer pain. I went against what nature has long wanted me to be, to believe. I envied the children this afternoon, all smiles waving their lithe armes on air with flowers clasped on hand. Theirs were smile of utter innocence, of that childhood belief that life is beautiful...but there were only few of them and I was not even one.

UNDERSTANDING UNDERSTANDING

Why Some Students Fail in English IV

Before the 1950's educators all over the world are confused what really is understanding. They cannot agree on one definition for such a definition may either be too broad or narrow as to understand what understanding really is. To shed light to this confusion, Benjamin Bloom and his colleagues proposed six levels of understanding: knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. Until today, this classification has been of great help clarifying what is really understanding. In Bloom's taxonomy, the first three levels are considered of low order thinking; the second three are of high order thinking. Krathwohl made some modifications of Bloom's taxonomy; however, the different levels stay with slight modifications. This taxonomy of thinking skills has shed some light to the confusion of what is understanding. Unfortunately, so many educators today do not really know what is understanding and how is it taught to the students.

As I was checking the reports cards for the high school students, I observed a pattern. Most of our senior students have low grades in Science, Math and English. How come our students fare low in these subjects compared with the others? In English IV, I exhaust all possible means to make my assessment valid. I also check long exams for both Science and Math. I am sure they are valid too. However, because grades of students are low, it may follow that there is minimal transfer of knowledge from the teacher to the students. Understanding is transfer of knowledge, not just mere recall of facts. Science, Math and English are subjects whose measure for understanding cannot only be gauged by memory recall during tests. Assessing understanding of these three subjects goes beyond the multiple choice, identification and matching type tests. Other evidences of learning beyond the usual test in the classroom are needed. Are our students unable to perform tasks that use concepts learned from these subjects?

In the case of English, I always assess learning based on how well the students perform the task I asked them to do. Performing authentic and realistic tasks that require skills learned in English best measures understanding of the subject. These tasks are not linear nor simple. They demand complex interplay of several skills which really tells me that knowledge transfer indeed has taken place. This understanding (i.e. knowledge transfer) as measured by authentic task performance has six facets. I know there is understanding when the students can explain, can interpret, can apply, can emphatize, and have perspective and self-knowledge. Let me take my first grading authentic task as an example. My first major requirement in English IV is a critical analysis.

The critical analysis is an individual task which requires students to write a critique of a story/motion picture with the elements of fiction as framework. To complete the task, they have to view purposively the movie, apply what they have learned about writing simple but effective sentences, and appraise the story on its elements. While viewing the movie, they are to analyze the elements of the story based on literary aesthetics. They are, therefore, required to read information with regards to aesthetic standards for short stories and for motion pictures. The critique is to be written in simple grammatically correct sentences. The students are expected to organize their thoughts in coherent paragraphs through effective use of conjunctions for transitions of ideas. This task is apparently not simple. It demands three of the four macro skills in English.

To perform the task successfully the student needs skills in listening, reading and writing. Unfortunately, most students thought that learning is best assessed by quizzes and long tests. In English IV, this is not the case. I believe that no objective test can approximate how much knowledge has been transferred to the students. It is only performance tasking that can best reflect understanding of English. I know a student understands if he can explain what the story is all about. He should also be able to interpret the story in terms of enduring learning. I also know he understands English if he can apply all the rules of composition in writing the critique. Does he see the bigger picture of what he is doing? Is he aware of his limitations in terms of doing the critique? These are some of the indicators that a student has understood the concepts and skills in the first quarter. When one is not able to write a critique well, it is safe to conclude that he has limited understanding of English in the first grading period.

I have always been known to give low grades. No, I do not. The grades the students get are numerical reflections of how much (or in some cases, how little) they have understood English IV. The students themselves determine their own grades. I was merely facilitating understanding of the English language and the transfer of knowledge from me to them. When students are not able to manifest the six facets of understanding which are what I was looking for, no learning has taken place, no knowledge transfer happened. This absence or limited learning is reflected in the students' grades. I do look for other evidences of understanding such as quizzes, tests and class recitations. However, I do not believe that understanding can be best measured by paper and pencil test or simply by reciting in class. All three are simplistic view of a complex process of listening, speaking, reading, and writing, which is English.

I am not hard to please, but a student has to prove to me his understanding of English IV. I give perfect scores of 100. There were lots of them last grading period. I can be cruel though and give a student a zero only to be kind and make him understand that he has limited understanding of the subject. If a student feels sad because he fails in my subject, he should have reflected why. If he continues to deny his failure, he has no self-knowledge, so he deserves to fail. If after introspection, he realizes the reasons why he failed, he deserves another chance at redeeming himself, but not this time - maybe next grading period but only if he will manifest understanding of the subject I am trying for him to understand.

THE "TAYTAYAN CONTROVERSY"

The Notion of Opinions and Facts

This is Carla Jerezon's essay for the first unit test of the second quarter (the best answer submitted). It is simple and short but is the enduring understanding everyone must have learned about the unit. Her essay is composed of paragraphs developed by comparison and contrast, point by point type.

Opinion is always different from fact. Opinion is a notion of a single person; fact is a notion of everybody. Opinion may be true to a person; fact is always true to a person. Opinion is always backed-up with evidences; fact is an evidence per se. That is why opinion is always distinguisahable from fact.

Opinion is always different from fact. It is by this very fact that I have come to accept and forget the message of the letter sent to Taytayan. The letter is only the opinion of a concerned citizen in this municipality; it is not the opinion of everybody. It may be true to that citizen; it is not always true to evrybody. It may be backed-up with evidences; it doesn't make its general idea an evidence. The letter, therefore, is an opinion that can be considered true to someone, but is not true to me. So, why should I be bothered?

Opinion is always different from fact. The idea that was stated in the letter is the notion of the sender, not the notion of everybody. It may be true to some, but it is not true to all. It may have all the evidences to prove that the idea is correct, but it doesn't make it true. That is why I have come to accept and forget the message of the letter. It's not a problem with me at all.

I DARE YOU TO FAIL

What Students Must Do to Improve their Grades

"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. it's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere." Barack Obama

I have been teaching for 11 years. I was able to teach several subjects already: Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Technology and Livelihood Education, Computer, Christian Living and English. Every time I am assigned to teach a subject I give my best. I decline to teach if I do not know the subject, or that I cannot study and learn it. In all cases, however, I am knowledgeable of the subjects I teach. I have special fondness for English though, and this is what I can teach the best of all. To prepare me more, I took short courses on teaching English as a second language. I attended several seminars and updating on teaching strategies for English. I read a lot and invested on good books for both content and teaching strategies for English as a foreign language. In all of these things I have done, I learned that English as a second language should be taught with the end result of the student being able to communicate - the transactional function of the language. Structure and meaning are important but the function should be better emphasized. This is always in my mind whenever I am teaching English to the seniors.

There are four macro skills to learn in English as a language: listening, speaking, reading and writing. Each of this macro skill has several minor skills under it which every student in English has to master. This is specially important if the student is in his senior year in high school. Senior English is mastery of all the basic skills in English as a second (ESL) or foreign (EFL) language. A fourth year high school student, therefore, must have mastered almost all the skills. The only exception is formal scientific research, which in the DepEd list of learning competencies is still to be taken up in the last year of high school. I am not expecting my fourth year English students to be able to write a good research paper. They are still to learn it this year. However, I am expecting them to be able to listen analytically and appreciatively to almost anything. I am also expecting them to transact business orally in English, classroom recitation included. I am also expecting each one of them to be able to write a decent three-paragraph composition. Over and above the three is reading comprehension. I am expecting all the seniors to be able to read beyond the lines. These are my minimum expectations before any of my English IV student can have a good grade.

Whoever fails, therefore, in my subject is being challenged to prove to me that he is worthy to be a senior student. There are students who failed already. Let the failure be a challenge to those who failed. Self-knowledge is in order here. Any student who failed must go into deep introspection and discover why. He should ask, "Why did I fail? Which skills have I not mastered that is why I did not get a passing mark for the first grading period?" The process of getting down to the roots of one's failure is an utmost exercise of humility. Do I really need to learn some more? What else are expected of me? Have I been idle and wasting time instead of studying my lessons? One cannot keep on blaming what has not been done in the previous years, which ought to have been mastered already as of fourth year. Clearly, it is one's own fault now why the minimum skills for English IV have not been mastered yet. Know why because it is and it will not ever be late to re-study what has not been understood very well. It will not ever be late at all to restart even from scratch. Time and effort will only be wasted if one continues to believe and have a false assurance that he knows his English only because the English IV teacher did not fail the obviously erring but pitiful student.

A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE FROM TWO GENTLEMEN

Klaus and Scottie: My Apology

When push comes to shove and jostles man against the wall, expect him to push back. This is not to prove that the Newtonian dynamics of action-reaction is correct. It is just man's basic instinct to prove his worth. Two of my students - gentlemen at that - showed me this reality and proved once and for all that indeed they can write. I always believe that men do not like to write. If they do, whatever they write is surely something very good. I also believe that men who can write very well are intelligent and very mature with life. Because men mature later than women, any 16-year old guy who croons his heart out to paper, surely is mature, a good shoulder to cry on and a perfect friend to have around.

When Klaus sat down with me this afternoon to have his work checked, I was very happy. He shattered what I have long dreaded. (He knows this one already.) Because all the essays he submitted were good in terms of content, organization and mechanics, I thought he did not write them. Looking at this fine German lad, I cannot imagine that he is so deep emotionally. His face always betrays both his thoughts and feelings; I was not just sure whether the essays I have read were his. I have apologized to Klaus this afternoon. Indeed this young man can write very well given the right opportunity and the hard push.

The other gentleman is Scottie. Pipen also impressed me with his first quarter project. It is one of the best from the gentlemen. Forgive me of the bias, but I also did not think of Scottie when I was reading his essay. It was just to good, too mature from a gentleman. However, when he asked me to go through his personal philosophy this afternoon, I was blown away. Here is a guy who does not only know his grammar but also what he is talking about, and he talks about it suavely that his thoughts flowed smoothly, effortlessly like cold knife in a butter. Nice...so nice that I was so inspired to strive more in teaching these men and all my students. I owed so much from both gentlemen.

As I confronted Klaus and asked him to tell me the truth, his soulful eyes spoke of so much sincerity and honesty. I was so ashamed with myself for underestimating the talent of this guy. What was unbelievable at first was the intensity of emotion he puts in his words that putting them together is an explosion of myriad of feelings. How can a seemingly innocent nonchalant boy can be so profound with his thoughts and emotions? His soft voice betrays his passion for words. Scottie, on the other hand, humbled me with his admission that he was just following what I told him to do that is why he is able to weave ordinary words smoothly into magical paragraphs. When one reads his work, what is very clear is the very smooth flow of thoughts. There seems to be no sentence that is out of place. Every word seems to be in the right place to breath life to paper of what is in his mind. If he was just following what I told him to do, then he is already a leader to me.

I always consider men who can write intelligent. I do not know what to call of Klaus and Scottie. They are more than intelligent. What really struck me is the depth of emotion both their written works elicited from the reader. Their words and how they put them together into sentences to build paragraphs are poetry in motion. The graceful flow of thoughts reminds the reader that deep within the hearts of these two lads are mature men all ready to face the real world - men who already have realized what life is to be for them and how they have to live it. If a boy can write like a man, he should have been through so many of life's happy and sad experiences. These experiences are what Klaus and Scottie have been through, and when they open their hearts and start writing what they truly feel of life, I cannot help but be inspired of how much about life these two men know. At 16 years old, my deep appreciation of how so good a gentleman the two of you have become. Sitting with you two this afternoon has really made my day! Again...my apology.

THE WISDOM THAT SUMMER BRINGS

What I Believe in Life

I cannot any more call myself young. I don't know, but the idea of growing old holds so much appeal to me. I don't want to say too that I am through with life. In fact, life for me still is in its prime. For almost four decades of existence, life has been ups and downs - typically what it should be - not a bed of roses nor a cross to bear. What made me survive trials in life are some of the beliefs that I hold dear to me, in my heart and in my whole being. Firstly, I believe that life should be lived to its fullest. Secondly, I do my very best in whatever I ventured into, and lastly I always trust in the inherent goodness of others. These three beliefs have helped me weather all of life's challenges. I may have not been so successful in some, but the obvious truth that I continue to live, very much alive and kicking, proves that what I believe in life and how it is to be lived are true.

I always believe that life should be lived to its fullest. Life has too much to offer for all of us. I am so fortunate to have experienced the many facets of life. I have experienced so much joy and an equal dose of sad memories too. For every happy moment which comes my way, I always embrace it with much anticipation of what more to come and what else it has to offer. For every sad memory, I always learn that there would be more should I wallow on the pain it has brought me. Sad memories are to be lessons to teach me not to falter again. Happy moments are times to be treasured, a reminder of how beautiful life is and will be should I decide to live it to the fullest I know how. This is my first belief and it has made me survive 38 years of life.

I also believe in doing my best in whatever I am into. I was made to grow thinking that the good Earth had not been created for the ordinary and that mediocrity will not ever be the name of my game. I fully understood that to be the best entails so much sacrifice, and this I have long ingrained in my system. I am not a perfectionist but I always aim for perfection. God just made it that way - everything is to be perfect. It was only man that marred God's plan for us and I don't and I will not ever be that man. I always do things to the best of my ability. I sacrifice myself but not others only to be the best of who God wants me to be. This is my second belief which has made me see life beyond 38 years of me.

Finally, I always believe in the goodness of others. I do not live all alone in the world. I am constantly drawn to others and interact with people. These have equally brought me joy and pain. I have to believe, though, that people and that others cannot be bad. There is always good in others. There must be good in others who I have perceived otherwise. If I deny myself this thought, this belief, it only brings more sadness, more pain that obviously defeat the very purpose of my existence. This belief gives me hope that others can change, and that with others I can see the sun tomorrow rising. It will be shining brightly in the horizon, ushering in one more than 38 summers soon.

As the sun sets for another day, I cannot consider myself any younger than yesterday. I am already 38 years old and I have been through 38 summers already. What made me survive are beliefs I hold dear in my heart: live life to the fullest, live life to the best and live life believing in the inherent good of other men. These beliefs have eased off the pain and the sadness of my life. These have made me survive until today. The beauty of growing old is reflected in the wisdom of what I believe in. Another more summer and I won't be 38 anymore. Another more year and I won't be any younger than before. I may die with what I believe, but for sure, the wisdom of what I believe will outlast its believer.

SEX, SECURITY, INTIMACY, ESTEEM

Ambling Myself to Self-Actualization

I woke up late today and on the right side of the bed. I just took my morning coffee and some chocolate cookies. I would have liked to take a full breakfast; however, I hated to prepare it. I was just too famished. After, to kill the time, I cut my fingernails. I would have liked my nails done professionally. I just don't have the time to tarry along with the manicurist. She's too loud, I hate her whenever she opens her mouth. I have to look for another one to do my nails next time. My sister arrived to chat with my brother who was planning to purchase a prime property consisting of a house and lot. I knew my brother, and I just could not imagine him buying such. He once told me that a house (but not a lot) is a bad investment, and I agree with him.

I live in our ancestral house. I pride myself as the heir apparent to it, although I have to relinquish it someday to whomever can be trusted to take good care of it. I had, therefore, no other obligation but to keep the house in good condition today while I stay there. Maintaining the house in pristine condition and always spic and span though cost a sizable amount of money. Through time, obviously, a house deteriorates. Not unless one rents it or accept boarders and lodgers will one earn from a house. A house is simply not meant for one to earn an income, rather it is an investment that depreciates with time and demands a significant amount of money to maintain in good condition. My brother was right, and I was right too. If there be any consolation, at least I was made the caretaker of the ancestral house.

Ours is a small family but I am quite appalled by the idea that we own quite a number of cars. I never drive too much and everywhere I go is accessible by walking. Even my place of work is just a 30 minute walk. I do not own these cars. These are my father's. At home, we have the Prado and the Sportiva. In my sister's, they have the Estrada, the HiAce and the multipurpose cab. Our youngest sister has the Corolla and the Pajero. This is not to mention that my other brother drives his own Pajero. My father and my brother-in-law love cars. I don't. I have lived in the city for quite a number of years. Walking to me then was a luxury. Now, that I live in this laid back southern town, I can always indulge in one of man's most neglected pleasures - walking. Whenever I walk home from work in the afternoon, it is such a bliss.

I am not on houses nor on cars. I also do not dig in to high tech gadgets. I only have my laptop, a bedroom computer and another one in the living room. The laptop for work, the bedroom for personal use, and the living room for games. I have never bought myself a cellular phone. I have only three ever since the craze started. All were gratis et amore. The first unit I have, a Nokia 6210, was from our youngest sister. She loved the size but later on opted for a unit with a built-in camera. I have a new phone now, a Nokia 2630, which was also given to me by my other younger sister. No fancy TV at home. I own a portable DVD player though and a simple CD player. The latter cost me only $20, and still it is crooning nice music for me. I take good care of anything I own, especially those that were just given to me.

I am just happy that I have transcended the first four human needs according to Maslow. I consider myself still young, but I am proud to say that what I need today go beyond safety, love and esteem. I do not hold on to material possessions because these are no longer the things that make me happy. Any kind of house will do for me, but cars, I don't need them. The latter just get into too many troubles in a country like ours where even blinds can get a driver's license. The phone was a welcomed gift; however, I can very well live without them. In fact, I seldom open my phone. It's always close. I maintain contact though with some close acquaintances, and all my appointments are usually scheduled and well-finalized. Should something go awry with them and my other engagements, people can send me an e-mail or better chat with me in real time.

I have found it that the less I am connected with material possessions, the less complicated becomes my life. I have more important concerns than a clogged drain or a sagging ceiling. I hate renewing car registrations in an office besieged with so much corruption. It's too suffocating talking with public officers who think more of the bribe rather than the engine number of my car. If I like my vehicle registration processed on time, then I have to bribe my way a lot faster and more than my car consumes gas. With my cellular phone, only the service providers get richer faster because of the too many advertising promos any sane person can handle in one day. My mother even thought cellular phone companies steal phone loads. I find this funny, but may be true. Because today I am no longer so attached with these material frills in life, my life has just gotten much better. My problem with my students though is another story!

IT IS HARD, SO I HAVE TO KEEP UP

...Life That Is

The world today is not as vast as before. Because of the Internet, everyone and everything are just a mouse-click away, to quote my post-grad professor. Whatever happens and wherever it might be can be readily viewed or accessed in either cable TV broadcast or the Internet. Today, there is information deluge that to me it is quite a puzzle if still people act as if they evolved with the apes thousands of years ago. Precisely, this was what irritated me so much yesterday-people who are not just dumb but also very insensitive. Well in good, I woke up in the right side of the bed today. There are just things last night and today that definitely have proven me wrong about how dumb people can be.

Yesterday, in college, I had my final examination for Ed Tech 2. The course basically requires education students to manipulate the computer and the Internet to help improve classroom instruction and make other school related work a lot easier when they become real teachers soon. We hold classes inside the computer room, obviously. The exam I prepared for yesterday required me to save some PPT and Excel files in the computer. The students, following directions, would have to open these files for the questions and would write their answers in the answer sheet I would have distributed. The entire work would have been easier if not for some dumb students who literally competed with me yesterday.

There were students yesterday with me inside the computer room rehearsing their PPT presentations which served as their final exam for another course. I told them I would be using the computers and that they had to get out in order for me to finish saving the files earlier because my exam would be due anytime soon. They did not listen, and this irked me so much. How can students be so dumb, insensitive and downright rude? What I feared more was that they might not have understood what I asked of them because I did it in English. If it was the latter case, then it was indeed so sad, so pathetic. No wonder we are churning out professionals that are inefficient as hell in the real labor world and as dumb as a person can be in the academic circle.

When I got home, my house help told me that somebody alerted her that there would be a power failure at 8 last night. I did not believe her nor did I reprimand her for getting a wrong information. However, I would have like to dress down the person who misinformed her. They must have been referring to the Earth hour wherein people all around the world will have to turn off lights and any other electronic devices not crucial to work. This is a world-wide activity led by the WWF as a sign of voting for Mother Earth's sustainable existence. It is not primarily to save electricity, but in so doing we are indeed reducing combustion of organic material. This is very noble and the idea appeals so much to me. The way dumb people misinterpreted it though was feeble.

I did wake up in the right side of the bed today. Maybe I got so carried by the Earth hour last night, I woke up with a hangover of it. I do not want to profess myself as one of those working hard for Mother Earth. I do not deserve the honor, but I go green in my own little ways. I ate my hearty breakfast at 8 and viewed the weekend news review from both CNN and BBC. Later today I am supposed to do some house cleaning for my nephew's birthday bash on April 1. I decided to do the cleaning and preparation earlier. My mom asked me to even change the curtains which I willingly obliged. Before, I hated this work so much. I just didn't have the patience to string those frilly drapes into their respective rods. I finished before lunch. I was still able to take a shower before I prepared my favorite fish omelet.

I love my day today for whatever reason, I don't know. I just feel so contented with how everything goes today. I slept last night without thinking anything of what would I do or what would happen today. I slept peacefully contented with how life was so far yesterday. Although there were some glitches due to how dumb and insensitive others were, but as reality bites I could not do more than accept the fact that life indeed is complex, hard to understand. I should not be affected anymore by how others are around me. I should learn how to live with their follies and insensitivity. Life with me just have to go on. I must have to move on with life, however dumb it can be, however hard it can still get.

FOOT FETISH I AM NOT

Growing Older, Getting Smarter Though

I am not a foot fetish and never was I before. Today, however, I am going to talk about my right foot and both my brains. In my 5 foot 9 inch and 180+ pound frame, both my feet get a mighty hell of beating every day. My right foot started hurting about three years ago. I have noticed before that after long hours of continuously standing, being a teacher, at the end of the day I usually got a very sore right heel. Our PE teacher has already commented on this that I might have been suffering from traumatic arthritis. I never thought of that before. Arthritis is a degenerative disease, and I never thought of myself too old to suffer from one being just 35 then.

I am not into contact sports - heavy on running nor on jumping. I though weight trained a lot regularly before my right foot started hurting me. I used to jog too for roughly a couple of hours either outdoors or stationary, but I have never felt pain before in both my feet. After I was hospitalized last November 2007 for acute gastritis, I lost a lot of weight. I felt light then. Due to work pressures, however, I started gaining back weight and failed to exercise regularly as I did before. Then I started feeling pain on my right foot. It was usually accompanied by the usual signs of inflammation. There was usually swelling around the Achilles tendon insertion. In addition to tenderness, the swollen part usually felt warm. It often made walking very painful.

I have come into terms that I am not growing any younger anymore. The right foot pain I am suffering is an indication of this. I plan to get back in good shape again during school break. I have to plan this well and more scientifically. I loss weight faster than I get angry (again), so getting back into shape will never be a problem. I miss so much the days before when I have all the time to go to the gym and sweat it out all my day's frustrations, problems and concerns. The adrenaline rush which usually continued the next day just kept me going on and made me face another day with always new-found excitement. It was a different kind of high.

My gaining of significant pounds of weight has contributed to my foot problem. This is true since my almost 180+ lb frame is carried only by my two calcaneus bones, and the soft tissues surrounding this bone on each foot have also absorbed the blunt of my weight. When swollen and in pain, I usually did a warm compress over the affected area, nothing more. I tended to be conservative with its management. I have never resorted to oral anti-inflammatory nor analgesics to help ease the swelling and the pain. I have also been more cautious wearing again my dark brown Marlboro suede shoes. I often got the pain and the swelling after wearing the pair.

The pain in my right foot, however, has not in anyway affected the way I think about life. I have never ever been smarter with life than I am today. Yes, I am growing not any younger anymore but I have also grown a lot smarter, most specially with how I deal with people. Before I have so much difficulty saying "No". I just could not refuse any request. I just could not turn down any call for trivial help. I just simply could not say "No". Not anymore today, however. I don't want to say that this has anything to do with the pain in my right foot, but I have congratulated myself for this new-found courage. I may not be able to walk straight whenever my right foot is in pain, but definitely today I can look at anybody straight and say "No".

USAPANG LALAKI, USAPANG MATINO

That Damn Straw and Tupperware

It did not come to my attention that after I just gave a lengthy homily about good manners to one sophomore section, three boys figured out in a brawl at the canteen, simply because of a drinking straw. While looking somewhere for a place to sit, one student inserted a straw on another one's soda pop. Not able to see who did it, Christian started accusing Allan of the prank and started a litany of the latter's jokes played on him. The classmates thought everything was all right until they were back in the classroom when suddenly Allan hit Christian with a Tupperware on the face. Christian hit Allan back, causing a clean slit of skin underneath the latter's lower lid.

I don't want to be angry anymore. I was just not able to imagine before how tiring was it to be always angry. I maintained my cool, but I really have decided to confront back these young men. I got inside the classroom and everyone was so silent I could hear my own breathing. I started back with the vision of the institution - who we are, where we are going and how are we going to get there. I strongly believe that they must have to understand this very well. If the students know what our dream is for each one of them, they will definitely journey with us to get there. I have always been told that I can explain well our vision-mission, I hoped I did justice this morning.

You may have drawn a very bad image of me as a teacher and instructional leader after what I have been ranting for several days now. Actually I am a good teacher. I am just frustrated with some of our students this year, mostly the seniors. After four years with us, they did not seem to have understood the vision-mission of the school. I don't know, but today I just did not want to be angry anymore. I got into a heart to heart talk with the sophomores. I made them understand that should I decide to continue teaching next school year, I need them to really help make my stay a lot easier and more productive.

After delivering my homily, I requested the ladies to step out. I just need to have a man to man talk with the remaining gentlemen. I congratulated myself for maintaining my cool. Should I have been so angry again, I knew I would have lost face and the respect of these young men. To loosen up a bit, I told them that about twenty years ago, I was also the typical teenager that they are today. I was naughty too and have also pulled quite a number of pranks with my friends. However, I added that what set me differently before from them today was the idea that I knew where I stood before with regards to the school, to my teachers, my classmates and my parents. I have never been the problem before; I have always been part of the solution.

I though still have a thin streak of goodness in me. I can always forgive faster than I can get angry. It did happen today. I was able to have a heart to heart, man to man talk with the sophomores. I need them to help me next school year. Despite how angry I can be, a lot of students still believe that deep within, I am good. Yup, they have always been correct. A lot of our parents too have put so much trust in me, in us and the whole school, that I owe it to them to be the best teacher I can be, I can muster. Before everyhting else though, I need our sophomore students to exorcise the hell out of me. Resurrect me!

Usapang lalaki, usapang matino...

BITTER LOSERS, SOUR FACES, UGLY MANNERS

Why Can't We Just Lose for Once

With my right heel partly swollen, I slowly ambled my way to school today. We had a very important matter to do - deliberate for the honor students. Usually deliberation for honor students took us the whole day to accomplish. There are just so many things to do to ensure the validity and integrity of the result. The top graduates and students for a particular school year are chosen based on a very complex looking yet simple procedure. The weighted average for all subjects are ranked and the respective ranks are multiplied by 70% to get the weighted rank. The other 30% comes from the weighted rank for extra-curricular activities. It is in this portion that some students think the teachers and the school become unfair.

One basis for extra-curricular activities is participation of the students to other academic work outside the school. Any travel away from the school for academic purposes guarantees the student points for extra-curricular activities. However, not all students vying for honor can be sent for outside events of academic nature. There are some loose criteria we have adopted in choosing who to send out. First, the student should be intelligent enough to understand the task in hand and the responsibility he has after doing such. Second, he should have consistently exhibited a promising leadership potential, or much better, he is already a good student leader. Third, he should have led a student life worth emulating because he is a person of integrity, modesty and of faith. Fourth, he should be physically pleasing or better, attractive.

More often, the better looking and intelligent students are usually sent out of the school to represent the latter for any academic endeavour. The selection may sometimes be subjective but the teachers and the school tried hard to rid the process of biases. I for one is fascinated so much with students who are sophisticated, good mannered and survivors. These three are what I am looking for in a person to consider her or him educated. With sophistication, you should be beautiful in appearance, in action and in word. Good manners come with intelligence, and both are needed to survive.

Points for extra-curricular activities matter so much in deciding for honor students. Therefore, points earned from travels related to academic work are also very important. Because not all candidates for honors can be sent out to travel for academic purposes, I am expecting that some students are complaining. However, if these students are really educated, they should have been more intelligent and better-mannered to think whether they qualify for the task to be done. More often, what prevents us from sending a student outside the school are the behavior and leadership potentials. If the student's behavior does not live up to the image of the school and if his leadership potential fails dismally in comparison with others, then he has to stay.

Well, we just cannot please everyone. Obviously, some may find the ranking of honors this year questionable to their standards. We always welcome, though, questions and clarifications as to how the honor system was done. We would like to believe that we have done our best to maintain the sanctity and integrity of the entire process. We have nothing to hide. It's just that, unfortunately, we cannot cater to everyone's whims. More unfortunately, I prefer so much honor students who are beautiful and well-mannered. Most unfortunately, only a few qualified this year. Bitter losers, sour faces, ugly manners.