He didn't look like a knight in shining armor, straight out of a meeting at Arthur's Round Table. Nor did he come riding in on a white horse like the man of La Mancha, fresh from battling windmills. Dylan Wilk, this "knight" of the 21st century, if you will, strode into the room, smiling his open, friendly smile, dressed in a blue short-sleeved shirt and jeans, and holding a cellphone in his hand.
"Magandang hapon po," was his greeting in (almost) accent-free Filipino.
He had come from some other office close by, possibly from the Couples for Christ offices out front. He looks young, and yes, he is young - he's 30 years old - with a determined and "I-know-what-I'm-saying, I-know-what-I'm-doing" air about him. These are traits that must certainly be among those that have made Dylan the man that he is now. In his mid-twenties he had come into his own; he owned at least three luxury cars -- a Ferrari, a Porsche, and a silver BMW M3 (this last-named being the famous one that evolved into some 63 GK houses in what is now known as BMW Village); was living a lifestyle he only used to read and perhaps dream about, and was well on his way to making more of the kind of money he wanted and knew he could make.
First question that comes to mind: What on earth is this young, good-looking, green-eyed, white-skinned guy doing in an office like this?
"In 20 years or so I'll be like one of them," he said, referring to pot-bellied, wealthy, successful gentlemen with the perennial drink in hand, sitting in leather upholstered chairs in exclusive clubs, twice or thrice-divorced, hated by their children who hardly see them, substituting money, beautiful houses, fast cars, expensive resort vacations for love and warmth and caring and a sense of family. "I decided that wasn't for me," he said.
He knew that there must be more to life than material success, money in the bank, opportunities at his fingertips; that fulfillment went beyond luxury cars and living in luxury hotels, moving within the circles of "the rich and the beautiful," drinking expensive wines, dining in expensive restaurants. He wanted so much more than that. He wanted to make a difference.
So he traveled the world, looking for causes, searching for one that he made sure will not be lost, keeping a dream that he made sure will be realized.
Dylan knows about being poor, for he was born poor in a city called Leeds which began in 1086 as a village with a population of about 200. Of course when he was born some 10 centuries later, Leeds was esteemed to be the wealthiest city of its size in Britain.
He is a product of a quick-thinking, technology-savvy generation and his computer games firm made him the ninth richest man in Britain before he reached thirty. Luckily for us, he is also a man with lots of heart and an overwhelming sense of bayani and bayanihan --words he quickly translated to action.
To write about Dylan is unavoidably to write about Gawad Kalinga, the Couples for Christ spin-off that, wonderfully, has proven to be a workable, even successful, solution to our slums and our homeless poor. Dylan believes fervently in the Filipino's optimism and unfading hope that things can always get better; in his bayanihan spirit that makes him readily offer a helping hand.
"There's a hero, a bayani inside every Filipino," Dylan says. "It's what makes him build his own house and when that's finished, turn around to help build his neighbor's house."
And the GK houses? They call them sites, they call them projects costing about 50 to 60,000 pesos each. They call them cluster houses, villages, communities. In reality, they are dreams come true, dreams that have evolved into cement and hollow blocks, galvanized roofing, wood and plaster, doors and windows, paint and plants. A structure called a home, occupied by people called a family, filled with laughter, happy voices, clean kids - a home filled with hope and love.
The key words they go by? A meaning to life, self-respect, upliftment. The houses are not mere shelters, a roof over their heads, four walls to protect them. They are so much more; they give meaning to existence; give self-respect to each individual; teach each one to be generous, concerned, caring. Neighbors weren't just people who live next to each other; they were neighbors in the true sense of the word, helping each other in every way that help was needed.
What more can be said about Dylan that has not already been said? He fires other people's enthusiasm by his own fiery enthusiasm . . . charms them with his wit . . . inspires them with his sincerity and passion.
He travels all over the globe, speaking before Filipinos who have long been away from their native land and may have forgotten - or may not wish to remember - how it is with us here, how misery can compound misery and poverty can dig deep down into the dregs; how hopelessness begets hopelessness.
Speaking before Filipinos, talking to them and letting them know things don't have to be this bad, things could be a whole lot better, just give their kababayans a chance, because a glimmer of hope can be a blazing light that can turn a kababayan into a bayani , a hero among other heroes, reaching out to pull others up, offering a helping hand to put a neighbor's house together. A hero in small, everyday ways that put all together does make a big difference.
How can his audiences not respond to this Briton who has so identified himself with the Filipinos he works with, lives with, and believes so wholeheartedly in?
"I first came here in January 2003, after hearing about the Philippines and especially about poor Filipinos living in the slums or being utterly homeless." He returned in April of that same year, and stayed on.
And will he return to his native England someday in the future?
"I'm married to a Filipina," he says, "and my children will be raised as Filipinos, so I suppose I'll stay here forever," he smiles. He's married to Anna, the daughter of GK executive director Tony Meloto. And that's about as committed as anyone can get, certainly.
His fervor and untiring efforts have inspired the families in these GK communities to move on, to make dream a reality, to dare to hope. They're putting to practice an old truth that most of us know by heart even as grade school kids, having seen these words written on the blackboards of our schooldays: "IF THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY." Perhaps we can modify that to read "If there's a Wilk, there's a way."
After all, it's every man's right to dream, to keep a dream in his heart. But only a rare few, like Dylan Wilk, are blessed with the privilege to make other men's dreams come true.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
THEN A HERO COMES ALONG
Sunday, September 20, 2009
RANDOM 1 - OUT OF THE NORM
Today, seldom will you see TV programs that are so spiritually uplifting. What the boob tube unfortunately and in gracious hefting serves is mega doses of violence, sexuality and profanity plus a little of senseless slapstick that always leaves me bewildered of how we can be so violently insane. This is the reason why I never liked sacking myself in the couch munching on something inedible watching TV. To be fair though, there are still good TV shows that definitely touches my heart. I do not know how others take this one, but I always appreciate reality TV programs that highlight the true spirit of humankind. Some say these are subtle forms of exploitation - only for the rating game and the dollar they pour to the dying entertainment industry. To each his own; however, if these programs glorify the triumph of man over adversities and atrocities to teach the many a lesson or two, then I think the exploitation allegation is justifiable. One such program is Bio Channel's Random 1.
Random 1 chronicles chance meeting of people. Its premise is simple. A group of good Samaritans (R1) still believes in the inherent goodness of man. On the street and anywhere they approach ordinary people, talk with them and learn more about their lives. They believe each person has a problem or two which are bothering him or her. Random 1 likes to help ordinary people with their problems, may it be simple like a lost contact lens or something more profound and bigger such as recovering from alcoholism. Random 1 makes chance encounters happen which hopefully save the person's problem. Basically, it is helping people solve problems by facilitating random meeting with other kind-hearted individuals.
The premise sounds absurd at first. When you start watching the program, however, you will realize that indeed it can work. It works to Mark, Norman and Joe the Barber. All three are alcoholics. They are chronic alcohol drinkers, alcohol deviants if I may, because their lives have been totally devastated by the habit. Mark in his 40's has his life wasted in the very eyes of his father who has faith that his only son still can change. In a tent city, Mark met Norman and because they share the same passion for alcohol, bonded together and saw both of them drown in the spiraling vortex of alcohol addiction. It is in this utter squalor that Random 1 chances on Mark. After this random meeting, Mark gets to be introduced to Joe the Barber who has an equally interesting past to share.
With the help of his father, Random 1 was able to help Mark become somebody new again. This is not the most exciting part of the story though. Mark wanted to help Norman too. Norman in his early 50's was left alone by his three children because of alcoholism. With Mark's help, Random 1 was able to film a clip of Norman and showed it on TV. Norman's children saw it and felt pity for the father they have not seen for 13 years already. Random 1 facilitated the reunion of Norman and his three children. The meeting was tense-filled. Random 1 did not know what would transpire. Norman without any remorse in his heart hugged his children, now adults. He could not describe how he felt most especially when he learned that he is now a proud grandfather of two grandsons and one granddaughter.
Norman promised to change for his children and also for his grandchildren. With Mark and his father's encouragement, Norman entered a detox center for alcoholics. It served as a middle house before the real rehabilitation. He survived the seven days of sobriety and felt ready now for the rehabilitation. Entered Joe the Barber. After Mark and Random 1 fetched Norman from the Wilson House (detox center), they passed by Joe to give Norman a new haircut. Joe himself is an alcoholic but for 27 years now is clean and carves his own niche in the local community - he is everybody's friendly barber. He gave Norman a token of some sort which the latter has to hold on when tempted back to drink again. Today Norman is a changed man, thanks to Random 1 and chance meeting with modern day good Samaritans.
I was so moved by this Random 1 episode. It stunned me sitting on the couch. Men don't cry, alcoholic men most especially because they would like to believe that they are strong. Physically yes, but sadly, they are not emotionally. Norman is a big man but when he cried his heart out, tears pouring out of his eyes down his bearded cheeks, I cannot imagine how unfair society was for him - how unfair for us to judge the many Normans around us. Random 1 has opened my eyes on this sad reality that we can be so judgmental. Shows like Random 1 give me so much hope that we can indeed make a difference if only we care. Random 1 in all its simplicity and with all its unconvoluted plots is more than entertaining. It is spiritually uplifting. It is good for the heart...and the soul.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
TEXT YOUR MIND
Good day to all of you. Now, would you care to greet me "good day" too? Yes, and in the polite way too, if you must. Oh, you can't do it? Is it because you'd rather text me "gUd Pm!" by way of your cellular phone, or drop me a friendly twit via Twitter or an offline PM through Yahoo Messenger? How sad! You sad little thing. You must have forgotten the fringe benefits of going through the personal exchange of greeting in your relationships (besides passing English IV).
Admit it. The English and Filipino vernaculars are becoming ugly barnacles. Enough words have been "coined" today to even say in the least that they are worth a coin to hear. To add insult to injury, more and more of these words are used by teenagers today as part of their language. What happened to the days when a "Good morning!" earned you a show of praise from everyone around you? Lately, it's quite the fad to twist "Good" to "gUd", "I have to leave" to "gtg" or "go na meh", or even "I adore you" to "I luv u! mwah mwah!" Indeed, these greetings have become a sign of the times, and if you are part of "the times," den u'd $1mPli B cA$t oWt 4 n0t F1t1ng n.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
FACELESS JUDAH BEN HUR
Learning English as a second language demands mastery of the four macro skills: listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Of these four skills, I believe that speaking is the most challenging to master. I further believe though that writing well makes speaking a lot easier. Being secondary learners of the language, speaking well before writing comes with too much practice and experience. We just don't have that much experience conversing in English. Speaking well, however, may come from writing very well. One of the reasons why we don't want to speak in English is lack of confidence that we have mastered English structurally. When we can write well, it follows that we know the structure and the meaning of the English language.
We usually fail to learn well the structure of the English language because we lack the much needed confidence to learn it. We have reached fourth year high school sans belief of our capability of learning the structure of the English language - that it is not as confusing as what of us mostly believe. Could this have been caused by wrong instruction by English teachers before who were not confident teaching the language? This lack of faith may have rubbed off among the students that only a few really know the structure of the language confidently well. Lack of strong faith in one's ability to grasp the meaning and structure of the language, therefore, deters functional use of English.
By strange fate, the gentlemen are not at all gentle in their functional understanding of the English language. Could it be in the genes that only a few men like English? Immature men (a.k.a. children) hate English. They always think English has to have them twist their tongues to pronounce words clearly. They fail to understand that speaking the language and communication for understanding demand clear articulation. Strangely, because of how atrophied men's brain have come to be, they fail to comprehend that global issues are resolved and business deals sealed using English as the medium of communication. Fatefully strange, this seemingly brainless logic perpetuated by moronic Adams contributes to our failure of fully appreciating the function of the English language.
Lastly, men's stark abhorrence to anything less manly makes them look more like apes than humans. Why hate the English language which has moved men to fight for freedom after King? Why such hate to a language which has catapulted so many men to glorious victories as it did to Churchill? After Romulo in the United Nations, the Philippines has never again a nameless spot in the world map. It was MacArthur's well-meant promise to return that gave us all hope to a better Philippines. All these done in English, the language men oh-so-hate. In English, all these men communicated their ideas. Why hate so much the language that has freed us from all the bondage of ignorance, oppression and pain? Have we regressed and have grown tails already? Have we become monkeys now?
When we cannot seem to sketch who Judah Ben Hur is, weaving words of the English language, chances are we are either monkeys or apes, not humans at all. Humans have faith in themselves. Man always has faith that he can learn. By fate and not strangely, both men and women are endowed with innate capacities to learn, enough gray matter for more complex intelligence. Apes are not as intelligent as we are. We are also supposed to be appreciative, not full of hate. We are more civilized than monkeys that if the latter race is capable of appreciating, how much more are we? If still we cannot sketch Judah Ben Hur, then we might as well be caged with the monkeys, or better free the monkeys and have us aping instead. Long live the monkeys!
Friday, September 11, 2009
HONOR AND THE WISDOM IN FAILURE
Honor is given to somebody who has done something extraordinarily heroic. Honor is such an expensive commodity, it cannot be bought. It can only be earned with time and sacrifice. Many have tried winning honor only to gain one after being six feet buried underground. A few good men risked not only their lives but that of their love ones gaining honor for the family name to outlive history. Some young people won theirs through hard work, positive mind set, and sheer dedication. Such a simple word can only be realized through sweat, tears and blood. Whoever gains one becomes honorable and is always worthy of such an accolade.
Today we bestow honor to exactly 40 high school students who excelled in academics. The honorees are young ladies and gentlemen who have done extraordinary deeds. They are our students who went beyond what others expected of them. They are our students who lived with excellence in mind. They will be our future leaders who are willing to sacrifice, willing to suffer and work hard for the common good of us all. They are the sons and daughters of proud parents. They are our honorees who lived up to the values of unquestionable integrity, strict discipline, cunning resourcefulness and utmost competence. In one word, excellence.
However, a greater and harder challenge comes along with the honor that our students gained today. A trust that this honor bestows upon the student should be upheld. This calls for even more sacrifice - choosing the pain of one's continued pursuit for excellence over the luxury of senseless comfort. These students have to forgo painting the town red on weekends. They have to study to learn more and deserve another honor the second time around. Burning midnight candles becomes campfires should they decide to gobble books by the dozens. This does not mean though that failing and failures will demean the honor they have earned so well. The most honorable act to do sometimes is the most painful - failing for once and rise up to excel to honorable heights again.
Monday, September 7, 2009
UNDERSTANDING UNDERSTANDING
Before the 1950's educators all over the world are confused what really is understanding. They cannot agree on one definition for such a definition may either be too broad or narrow as to understand what understanding really is. To shed light to this confusion, Benjamin Bloom and his colleagues proposed six levels of understanding: knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. Until today, this classification has been of great help clarifying what is really understanding. In Bloom's taxonomy, the first three levels are considered of low order thinking; the second three are of high order thinking. Krathwohl made some modifications of Bloom's taxonomy; however, the different levels stay with slight modifications. This taxonomy of thinking skills has shed some light to the confusion of what is understanding. Unfortunately, so many educators today do not really know what is understanding and how is it taught to the students.
As I was checking the reports cards for the high school students, I observed a pattern. Most of our senior students have low grades in Science, Math and English. How come our students fare low in these subjects compared with the others? In English IV, I exhaust all possible means to make my assessment valid. I also check long exams for both Science and Math. I am sure they are valid too. However, because grades of students are low, it may follow that there is minimal transfer of knowledge from the teacher to the students. Understanding is transfer of knowledge, not just mere recall of facts. Science, Math and English are subjects whose measure for understanding cannot only be gauged by memory recall during tests. Assessing understanding of these three subjects goes beyond the multiple choice, identification and matching type tests. Other evidences of learning beyond the usual test in the classroom are needed. Are our students unable to perform tasks that use concepts learned from these subjects?
In the case of English, I always assess learning based on how well the students perform the task I asked them to do. Performing authentic and realistic tasks that require skills learned in English best measures understanding of the subject. These tasks are not linear nor simple. They demand complex interplay of several skills which really tells me that knowledge transfer indeed has taken place. This understanding (i.e. knowledge transfer) as measured by authentic task performance has six facets. I know there is understanding when the students can explain, can interpret, can apply, can emphatize, and have perspective and self-knowledge. Let me take my first grading authentic task as an example. My first major requirement in English IV is a critical analysis.
The critical analysis is an individual task which requires students to write a critique of a story/motion picture with the elements of fiction as framework. To complete the task, they have to view purposively the movie, apply what they have learned about writing simple but effective sentences, and appraise the story on its elements. While viewing the movie, they are to analyze the elements of the story based on literary aesthetics. They are, therefore, required to read information with regards to aesthetic standards for short stories and for motion pictures. The critique is to be written in simple grammatically correct sentences. The students are expected to organize their thoughts in coherent paragraphs through effective use of conjunctions for transitions of ideas. This task is apparently not simple. It demands three of the four macro skills in English.
To perform the task successfully the student needs skills in listening, reading and writing. Unfortunately, most students thought that learning is best assessed by quizzes and long tests. In English IV, this is not the case. I believe that no objective test can approximate how much knowledge has been transferred to the students. It is only performance tasking that can best reflect understanding of English. I know a student understands if he can explain what the story is all about. He should also be able to interpret the story in terms of enduring learning. I also know he understands English if he can apply all the rules of composition in writing the critique. Does he see the bigger picture of what he is doing? Is he aware of his limitations in terms of doing the critique? These are some of the indicators that a student has understood the concepts and skills in the first quarter. When one is not able to write a critique well, it is safe to conclude that he has limited understanding of English in the first grading period.
I have always been known to give low grades. No, I do not. The grades the students get are numerical reflections of how much (or in some cases, how little) they have understood English IV. The students themselves determine their own grades. I was merely facilitating understanding of the English language and the transfer of knowledge from me to them. When students are not able to manifest the six facets of understanding which are what I was looking for, no learning has taken place, no knowledge transfer happened. This absence or limited learning is reflected in the students' grades. I do look for other evidences of understanding such as quizzes, tests and class recitations. However, I do not believe that understanding can be best measured by paper and pencil test or simply by reciting in class. All three are simplistic view of a complex process of listening, speaking, reading, and writing, which is English.
I am not hard to please, but a student has to prove to me his understanding of English IV. I give perfect scores of 100. There were lots of them last grading period. I can be cruel though and give a student a zero only to be kind and make him understand that he has limited understanding of the subject. If a student feels sad because he fails in my subject, he should have reflected why. If he continues to deny his failure, he has no self-knowledge, so he deserves to fail. If after introspection, he realizes the reasons why he failed, he deserves another chance at redeeming himself, but not this time - maybe next grading period but only if he will manifest understanding of the subject I am trying for him to understand.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
THE "TAYTAYAN CONTROVERSY"
This is Carla Jerezon's essay for the first unit test of the second quarter (the best answer submitted). It is simple and short but is the enduring understanding everyone must have learned about the unit. Her essay is composed of paragraphs developed by comparison and contrast, point by point type.Opinion is always different from fact. Opinion is a notion of a single person; fact is a notion of everybody. Opinion may be true to a person; fact is always true to a person. Opinion is always backed-up with evidences; fact is an evidence per se. That is why opinion is always distinguisahable from fact.
Opinion is always different from fact. It is by this very fact that I have come to accept and forget the message of the letter sent to Taytayan. The letter is only the opinion of a concerned citizen in this municipality; it is not the opinion of everybody. It may be true to that citizen; it is not always true to evrybody. It may be backed-up with evidences; it doesn't make its general idea an evidence. The letter, therefore, is an opinion that can be considered true to someone, but is not true to me. So, why should I be bothered?
Opinion is always different from fact. The idea that was stated in the letter is the notion of the sender, not the notion of everybody. It may be true to some, but it is not true to all. It may have all the evidences to prove that the idea is correct, but it doesn't make it true. That is why I have come to accept and forget the message of the letter. It's not a problem with me at all.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I DARE YOU TO FAIL
"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. it's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere." Barack ObamaI have been teaching for 11 years. I was able to teach several subjects already: Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Technology and Livelihood Education, Computer, Christian Living and English. Every time I am assigned to teach a subject I give my best. I decline to teach if I do not know the subject, or that I cannot study and learn it. In all cases, however, I am knowledgeable of the subjects I teach. I have special fondness for English though, and this is what I can teach the best of all. To prepare me more, I took short courses on teaching English as a second language. I attended several seminars and updating on teaching strategies for English. I read a lot and invested on good books for both content and teaching strategies for English as a foreign language. In all of these things I have done, I learned that English as a second language should be taught with the end result of the student being able to communicate - the transactional function of the language. Structure and meaning are important but the function should be better emphasized. This is always in my mind whenever I am teaching English to the seniors.
There are four macro skills to learn in English as a language: listening, speaking, reading and writing. Each of this macro skill has several minor skills under it which every student in English has to master. This is specially important if the student is in his senior year in high school. Senior English is mastery of all the basic skills in English as a second (ESL) or foreign (EFL) language. A fourth year high school student, therefore, must have mastered almost all the skills. The only exception is formal scientific research, which in the DepEd list of learning competencies is still to be taken up in the last year of high school. I am not expecting my fourth year English students to be able to write a good research paper. They are still to learn it this year. However, I am expecting them to be able to listen analytically and appreciatively to almost anything. I am also expecting them to transact business orally in English, classroom recitation included. I am also expecting each one of them to be able to write a decent three-paragraph composition. Over and above the three is reading comprehension. I am expecting all the seniors to be able to read beyond the lines. These are my minimum expectations before any of my English IV student can have a good grade.
Whoever fails, therefore, in my subject is being challenged to prove to me that he is worthy to be a senior student. There are students who failed already. Let the failure be a challenge to those who failed. Self-knowledge is in order here. Any student who failed must go into deep introspection and discover why. He should ask, "Why did I fail? Which skills have I not mastered that is why I did not get a passing mark for the first grading period?" The process of getting down to the roots of one's failure is an utmost exercise of humility. Do I really need to learn some more? What else are expected of me? Have I been idle and wasting time instead of studying my lessons? One cannot keep on blaming what has not been done in the previous years, which ought to have been mastered already as of fourth year. Clearly, it is one's own fault now why the minimum skills for English IV have not been mastered yet. Know why because it is and it will not ever be late to re-study what has not been understood very well. It will not ever be late at all to restart even from scratch. Time and effort will only be wasted if one continues to believe and have a false assurance that he knows his English only because the English IV teacher did not fail the obviously erring but pitiful student.
Friday, September 4, 2009
A CHAT WITH MY FORMER STUDENT
Cyke_09: btaw dok, salamat sad kaayo sa mga advice nimo sa unacarlo_bejarasco: wa na sapayan
carlo_bejarasco: lipay lang ko ba kay imo na hinayhinay nakuha imo gusto
cyke_09: daghan jud kaayo mga students dha dok nga ikaw ang nahimong inspiration
carlo_bejarasco: salamat, but if not for your own hard work and theirs, di man pod jud nato maabot ato gusto
cyke_09: mao lagi dok
Because his family does not want him to work abroad, Cyke has to finance himself in order to go to New Zealand. Long before I have also known that this young man from Cawayan would not allow anybody or anything gets in his way. One could very well see this when he played basketball, which he was so good at. He had lofty dreams too. He wanted to lead, and won as the SK Chairman. He loved to dress himself up and kept himself in good shape. He was asked to model men's apparel when at the same time studying in college. I knew nothing can stop this guy. True enough and little by little he now enjoys the fruit of his hard labor and sacrifies.
carlo_bejarasco: mao lang jud na ako gusto nimo. wala ka pailad diri sa dalaguet
cyke_09: pro ang imong guidance dok importante sad gyud kaayo
I was humbled so much that despite what Cyke has achieved now, he still credited eveything to what SMA and the teachers have taught him. I made it clear to him that we were just doing our work. A lot has heard the same advice I gave him, but not all his classmates are as successful as he is now. The same humility that has humbled us has brought Cyke to where he is now. He still continued to ask advice from me and this has so inspired me to keep going on with life. This despite all the problems I have both in school and outside. Here is a man who knows how to look back where he has been once. Here is a man who knows so well whom he has indebted much. Here is a man who SMA can be so proud to call one of her own...one of a kind!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A HUMBLING EXPERIENCE FROM TWO GENTLEMEN
When push comes to shove and jostles man against the wall, expect him to push back. This is not to prove that the Newtonian dynamics of action-reaction is correct. It is just man's basic instinct to prove his worth. Two of my students - gentlemen at that - showed me this reality and proved once and for all that indeed they can write. I always believe that men do not like to write. If they do, whatever they write is surely something very good. I also believe that men who can write very well are intelligent and very mature with life. Because men mature later than women, any 16-year old guy who croons his heart out to paper, surely is mature, a good shoulder to cry on and a perfect friend to have around.When Klaus sat down with me this afternoon to have his work checked, I was very happy. He shattered what I have long dreaded. (He knows this one already.) Because all the essays he submitted were good in terms of content, organization and mechanics, I thought he did not write them. Looking at this fine German lad, I cannot imagine that he is so deep emotionally. His face always betrays both his thoughts and feelings; I was not just sure whether the essays I have read were his. I have apologized to Klaus this afternoon. Indeed this young man can write very well given the right opportunity and the hard push.
The other gentleman is Scottie. Pipen also impressed me with his first quarter project. It is one of the best from the gentlemen. Forgive me of the bias, but I also did not think of Scottie when I was reading his essay. It was just to good, too mature from a gentleman. However, when he asked me to go through his personal philosophy this afternoon, I was blown away. Here is a guy who does not only know his grammar but also what he is talking about, and he talks about it suavely that his thoughts flowed smoothly, effortlessly like cold knife in a butter. Nice...so nice that I was so inspired to strive more in teaching these men and all my students. I owed so much from both gentlemen.
As I confronted Klaus and asked him to tell me the truth, his soulful eyes spoke of so much sincerity and honesty. I was so ashamed with myself for underestimating the talent of this guy. What was unbelievable at first was the intensity of emotion he puts in his words that putting them together is an explosion of myriad of feelings. How can a seemingly innocent nonchalant boy can be so profound with his thoughts and emotions? His soft voice betrays his passion for words. Scottie, on the other hand, humbled me with his admission that he was just following what I told him to do that is why he is able to weave ordinary words smoothly into magical paragraphs. When one reads his work, what is very clear is the very smooth flow of thoughts. There seems to be no sentence that is out of place. Every word seems to be in the right place to breath life to paper of what is in his mind. If he was just following what I told him to do, then he is already a leader to me.
I always consider men who can write intelligent. I do not know what to call of Klaus and Scottie. They are more than intelligent. What really struck me is the depth of emotion both their written works elicited from the reader. Their words and how they put them together into sentences to build paragraphs are poetry in motion. The graceful flow of thoughts reminds the reader that deep within the hearts of these two lads are mature men all ready to face the real world - men who already have realized what life is to be for them and how they have to live it. If a boy can write like a man, he should have been through so many of life's happy and sad experiences. These experiences are what Klaus and Scottie have been through, and when they open their hearts and start writing what they truly feel of life, I cannot help but be inspired of how much about life these two men know. At 16 years old, my deep appreciation of how so good a gentleman the two of you have become. Sitting with you two this afternoon has really made my day! Again...my apology.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
LAMENTATIONS ON ONE MOONLIT NIGHT
I was not happy this afternoon. It has something to do with how I dismally failed with my lesson about knowing oneself and the directions to take in life. I have decided that for two weeks I would devote my lessons in English to this enduring understanding that knowledge of oneself is needed to succeed in life. Last week, we talked about Bertrand Russel's passion in life and how his passions helped him shaped to who he has become later in life. This week, I intend to talk about Oedipus, the King and guide my students to understanding deeper that one's knowledge of self is important in life. I have carefully chosen both extraordinary literary works (an autobiographical essay and a tragedy) by equally extraordinary writers to present this enduring understanding to my students - that self-knowledge is important to success or failure in life. For Oedipus, the King I was so meticulous with the learning plan that it took me almost two days to prepare an hour's lesson. Still, I failed and I was so sad.
The way I teach English to my students always starts with identification of my desired result for them (i.e. my students). For both What I Have Lived For and Oedipus, the King, my desired result is for my students to realize how important self-knowledge is for one's future. Unfortunately, most students see English as plain grammar and not at all something about life. Life to them is taught only in Christian Living. Because we also took up relative clauses last week, it didn't mean that Russel's autobiographical essay was all about the non-restrictive and the restrictive clauses only. The lesson on clauses may be forgotten, but because I asked my students to write some sort of a reflection on their respective personal philosophies, I hope that partly I will be able to have touched their hearts that I am not only teaching them English. I am really teaching them life and how to live it. I hope I won't be disappointed this Friday. I told my students to submit their personal reflections on that day.
After identifying the desired result, the next thing I do is determine what will I ask from my students so that I will be able to see that they have understood the deeper understanding I would have wanted them to realize. In this case, self-knowledge is important in one's future. After discussing Russel's philosophy and Oedipus' tragic fate, I wanted my students to be able to reflect the bigger picture that in both selections man's future has been greatly affected by his self-knowledge. I, therefore, asked them to write a reflection on their own personal philosophies - what they believe about life and how these beliefs have governed their day to day existence. If they will be able to write a good reflection, then I will be happy because my desired result has been accomplished. I will be happier, however, if my students will be able to use correctly relative clauses in their reflections, which by the way I have also asked them to do. The requirement for Friday is not to make my students' lives difficult...but unfortunately, that is what most seniors think about me, making lives difficult. So sad, very sad.
After identifying the desired result I want to see in my students and determining the task to assess their understanding about it, my next move is to prepare my lesson. For my students to appreciate self-knowledge, I have decided to talk about Russel's essay and Sophocles' Oedipus. Though both works seem to be contradictory, they mean the same. The theme for both revolves around knowing more oneself. For Oedipus, I prepared very well. I even took extra effort to assign ahead what my students are supposed to prepare - read and research - about this great tragedy by Sophocles. This afternoon, however, it was very clear that they did not do their part of the bargain. It was quite unfair when only the teacher prepares well for the class interaction, or was it really an interaction this afternoon? I thought I was giving a dramatic monologue complete with all the pleading that they (my students) would also prepare for class. If I have prepared well for all my lessons, I deserve too that my students should be even more prepared than I am taking into consideration that they have more to learn than I do. Obviously, my seniors still have not understood this.
I was thinking, "What if I will not at all prepare my lesson?" I will just hold on to the book and read whatever is there, in front of my students. I think this looks more appealing to them. The problem with this approach though is that understanding would be so shallow. What the students will learn is what was only written in the book. Get rid of the book and the students do not remember anything anymore. The idea is supposed to teach them beyond what is in the book. Subject-verb agreement cannot feed a hungry mouth nor relative clauses can heal a broken relationship. These are some of the minor things students have to learn in English. Life. They are supposed to learn about life in English IV. Sadly, they did not or do not or will not or refuse to understand so. Whenever I get to interact with my senior students, I am not just an English teacher. I am more of a person wanting to share what I have been through with life, what I have understood about it. Sadly, I fail. So sadly, I fail...
I am now beginning to think that I am not really a good teacher. I failed to motivate my students to be passionate about the subject. I failed to make them understand my real purpose for teaching the subject. I failed to make them see how different literary works by great authors reflect life. I only succeeded in making my seniors' lives more difficult that they no longer have time to waste. I only succeeded in confusing them which belabored their brains to think. I only succeeded in making their parents sad because I failed them for understanding so little about the subject. I only succeed in wasting their hard earned money to pay for my meager salary. I failed in so many things good. I succeeded only in things bad. I failed. How dismally have I failed!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
WHY STUDENTS FAIL TO UNDERSTAND
When I was in grade school, I was taught that in school what matters most is to learn and not whether you pass or fail. Sadly, today the scenario is different. Students now would be happier if they pass even without learning than learn and just barely pass the subject. If a teacher gives a grade of 85 to a student who knows that he does not deserve the good grade, the student will be happy with it and becomes so cordial with the teacher. Fail the same student and he wonders why. What is important to most students today is the grade, never mind learning - the enduring understanding of the subject content. Some ineffective teachers are partly to blame of this wrong attitude. Parents too reinforce so much this thwarted view of education. I cannot, however, make this happen to me. I am for my students learning the subject rather than passing it. I really fail students who do not learn because for me learning is the essence of education. Passing the subject is just the result when you have learned it.Why do students fail to understand the subject? I said, "fail to understand" and not "fail to pass." I have three reasons why. Most students cannot comprehend. Unfortunately this lack of comprehension involves both listening and reading. Without good comprehension, therefore, most of them cannot think critically. Critical thinking is important to enduring understanding of the concepts being taught. Lastly and sadly, students fail because they are not diligent in studying their lessons and working on their homework and assigned tasks. These three reasons work against any student acquiring long lasting understanding of real life applications of the subjects taught in school. Most students thought that they could get good grades because they knew the subject. What they do not know is that they are supposed to incorporate what they have learned in the class to real life complex situation and thus make meaning of all the concepts learned for themselves and to others.
Paradoxically the digital age makes the students comprehend less and less of the subjects taught in school. Technology is spoon feeding the newer generation. Making life easier and more comfortable, which is what technology is for, has backfired because students now do not anymore strive harder to understand. Instead of reading and summarizing what they have read from books, they would rather download and copy-paste web articles to pass as their own, disregarding copyright infringement laws. Parents hire tutors now to answer their children's homework and accomplish assigned tasks to the utter delight of the now dumber tutee. How can, therefore, students comprehend? Some of the teachers do not even know how to teach comprehension skills. The latter think it is only the responsibility of language teachers to teach students how to understand. Moreover, most students are word readers; hence, how can they comprehend passages, worse, a sentence or a paragraph?
When students cannot comprehend, they cannot think critically. According to Facione and Facione (1994), a critical thinker interprets accurately evidences, statements, graphics, questions, etc. He identifies the salient arguments for or against the issue. He thoughtfully analyzes and evaluates major alternative points of view and draws warranted, judicious and non-fallacious conclusions. He justifies key results and procedures and explains assumptions and reasons. How can somebody who cannot understand be able to do all these things? The problem of lack of comprehension, therefore, creates a vicious cycle spiraling towards a vortex of confusion. The confused student now cannot even write a book analysis or critique a movie he has just watched. Critical thinking is a skill that takes time to hone. Failure to develop this kind of thinking is a surefire guarantee of failure in life someday.
Besides lack of comprehension and critical thinking skills, most students today are lazy. Diligence is not in the vocabulary of the new generation. I do not know who to blame, but modern society expects so little from the teenagers today that they live up to this lack of expectation. Teenagers do not bother do the hard thing because they are not expected to accomplish anything. They are young, so naive, so fragile that teachers cannot even ask them to write a research paper because they are just too young to do it. They cannot also do household chores because they are (again) young, so naive, so fragile. However, they can be fraternity members and kill themselves. They can do drugs because they are old enough. They can have sex and girls can get pregnant before high school graduation. Just do not ask them to write a paragraph because they are just too young, so naive, so fragile. How pathetic the lives of students have become!
When my students do not learn despite everything I have done to make them so, they have to fail in my subject. They say, I am a difficult teacher to comprehend, precisely because what I want my students to understand goes beyond the what, the where and the when. I want my students to answer the why, the how and the what if. I want my students to understand by doing. When I asked them to critique Exupery's Little Prince, it is for me to assess whether they have understood how elements of a story interweave to present us enduring assertions about friendship and life. Soon I will be asking my students to write a research paper for me to assess how they have understood the complex communicative function of the English language. These are just two of the many evidences of learning I will be asking my students. If they fail to submit even one (for no justifiable reason at all), I will have the impression that they cannot understand or think critically, worse, are lazy deserving to fail. Well, if it be of any consolation, failing is much better than passing without understanding.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
THE WISDOM THAT SUMMER BRINGS
I cannot any more call myself young. I don't know, but the idea of growing old holds so much appeal to me. I don't want to say too that I am through with life. In fact, life for me still is in its prime. For almost four decades of existence, life has been ups and downs - typically what it should be - not a bed of roses nor a cross to bear. What made me survive trials in life are some of the beliefs that I hold dear to me, in my heart and in my whole being. Firstly, I believe that life should be lived to its fullest. Secondly, I do my very best in whatever I ventured into, and lastly I always trust in the inherent goodness of others. These three beliefs have helped me weather all of life's challenges. I may have not been so successful in some, but the obvious truth that I continue to live, very much alive and kicking, proves that what I believe in life and how it is to be lived are true.
I always believe that life should be lived to its fullest. Life has too much to offer for all of us. I am so fortunate to have experienced the many facets of life. I have experienced so much joy and an equal dose of sad memories too. For every happy moment which comes my way, I always embrace it with much anticipation of what more to come and what else it has to offer. For every sad memory, I always learn that there would be more should I wallow on the pain it has brought me. Sad memories are to be lessons to teach me not to falter again. Happy moments are times to be treasured, a reminder of how beautiful life is and will be should I decide to live it to the fullest I know how. This is my first belief and it has made me survive 38 years of life.
I also believe in doing my best in whatever I am into. I was made to grow thinking that the good Earth had not been created for the ordinary and that mediocrity will not ever be the name of my game. I fully understood that to be the best entails so much sacrifice, and this I have long ingrained in my system. I am not a perfectionist but I always aim for perfection. God just made it that way - everything is to be perfect. It was only man that marred God's plan for us and I don't and I will not ever be that man. I always do things to the best of my ability. I sacrifice myself but not others only to be the best of who God wants me to be. This is my second belief which has made me see life beyond 38 years of me.
Finally, I always believe in the goodness of others. I do not live all alone in the world. I am constantly drawn to others and interact with people. These have equally brought me joy and pain. I have to believe, though, that people and that others cannot be bad. There is always good in others. There must be good in others who I have perceived otherwise. If I deny myself this thought, this belief, it only brings more sadness, more pain that obviously defeat the very purpose of my existence. This belief gives me hope that others can change, and that with others I can see the sun tomorrow rising. It will be shining brightly in the horizon, ushering in one more than 38 summers soon.
As the sun sets for another day, I cannot consider myself any younger than yesterday. I am already 38 years old and I have been through 38 summers already. What made me survive are beliefs I hold dear in my heart: live life to the fullest, live life to the best and live life believing in the inherent good of other men. These beliefs have eased off the pain and the sadness of my life. These have made me survive until today. The beauty of growing old is reflected in the wisdom of what I believe in. Another more summer and I won't be 38 anymore. Another more year and I won't be any younger than before. I may die with what I believe, but for sure, the wisdom of what I believe will outlast its believer.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
WHAT I HAVE LIVED FOR
…that scientific theory should be extrapolated and proven true in life’s greatest atrocities;
…that mathematical calculation should equate the poor and the oppressed with those basking in opulence;
…that language and the spoken words should break the silence of the dumb and set them free.
Because the world outside the four walls of the school is one humongous laboratory teeming with God’s living creation, it is my dream that once my students are out of the narrow confines of the school corridors, these young minds will have realized that real life is lived outside by real people in a more than surreal world.
…open their eyes and make them see that not a single scientific theory can ever justify the pains and irreverent losses of life in treacherous killings and senseless war;
…open their minds and make them realize that not a single mathematical logic can ever equate the poor and the opulent;
…open their ears and make them hear that not a single spoken language can ever set free the dumbfounded;
…open their eyes and open their ears and make them realize what real life is.
To accomplish these, I must do the following:
• I will blind my students with prudence to make them see the repercussions tomorrow of their actions today;
• I will flood them with temperance to make them rein and take hold of their passions and dispassions;
• I will have them gain fortitude to make them win life’s seemingly intractable battles;
• I will treat them with justice to make them deal fairly with themselves, their neighbors and God;
• I will skill them with sound cognition, manual dexterity and unwavering determination for real life is not for the imbecile, the lazy and the indecisive.
These tall orders I set on myself can only be realized in holistic development and integral formation of my students. These can only be done in an environment that puts premium on diversity, in an atmosphere that encourages students to fail and redefine failures to become vehicles of success.
My instructional approach therefore should simulate real outside world. Team building and cooperation among students and teachers are not just encouraged but are must in order for all to have a full grasp of real life situations. The teacher becomes a facilitator of learning, a co-partner in the pedagogical process. In no way will he permeate sarcasm and cast doubts in the minds of the students.
Learning is structured and modular to fit in the core of my tasks. In the center of the educative process is the student. The curricula, school activities, classroom discussions and lesson plans are designed to insure total transformation of the students into Marian leaders molded from the harmonious intermarriage of global and scientific pedantry and the time-tested Christian virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance.
My instructional supervisory behavior revolves around collaborative decision making for a more cohesive and efficient organization. I have to maintain a highly motivated group of pedagogues acting as my co-equals by satisfying not only their basic wants for maintenance but rather indemnifying their autonomy and actualization needs. The spirit of collegiality, openness and friendly bantering of ideas and opinions permeates the organizational climate because of two way communication.
My leadership style is eclectic – facilitative and transformative. I draw inspirations from Nehemiah, the biblical figure who rebuilt the fallen walls of Jerusalem in just fifty-two days which originally was built for more than a hundred years. Institutional changes move subtly from contentment before the issue of change is raised to chaos when the answers of the problem come then ultimately to self-renewal when confusions are settled.
Though my dreams, my visions seemed afar but a flicker of hope shines through. Gargantuan they may be, but I have to surmount the challenges and face the odds of the tasks in hand. Inspired by the humble servanthood of Venerable Ignacia and the fiat of the Virgin Mother, I know I can and I more than know that I will and I should.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
DOUBLE INSERTION, TRIPLE BAD NEWS
Good luck comes in threes. It follows then that bad luck also comes in threes. As I was listening to the early evening news edition, a series of bad news slapped me on the face. First, the Senators were again wasting much time debating on the “double insertion” case of Villar. They were not supposed to be debating still but investigating already. Second, though the Health Department was happy no A H1N1 has surfaced yet, the arrogance of the quarantine bureau regarding the implementation of a new ruling regarding foreign performers that have to be tested for the virus may have left the two Davids scratching their heads. Third, there could be a possibility that the presidential election next year will not ever happen. What! This indeed was the worst news of the night. Three bad news that may spell the worst of our lucks.
It has been two weeks already that the Senate was debating on how to amend their ethics rules on investigating one of them (i.e. erring senator). This was a result of the alleged “double insertion” made by Villar on a road project. According to Senator Madrigal, the former padded the budget for the project in a way that benefited him. The road project was rerouted to pass by the properties and holdings of the gentleman senator. This doubled the budget because the government had to buy lands from Villar at a staggering Php15,000 per square meters. However, nothing happened today because they could not come to understand each other. Last week they settled that they had differences. Goodness! What a waste of precious money from taxpayers. Nothing happened today because two not so gentleman senators walked out of the Senate.
I was fascinated on how zealous the Health Department was in trying to contain out the very confusing swine/A H1N1 influenza virus. I have appreciated what they have done although sometimes their concern already bordered on paranoia. They first did not want Pacquiao to come home yet after his jaw breaking fight with Hatton. The department wanted the group to quarantine themselves in California, but Pacman was more intelligent to say that they run a greater risk being infected there. Right. Today, some quarantine officials were pissed off by David Cook and David Archuleta. The group was to conduct a test to determine if both Idol singers had no viruses in their throats, but they were made to wait for so long in the hotel lobby. The concert organizers still had to ask their lawyer for the green light. Why? So this irritated the equally irritating quarantine officials. Bad news for me dying to listen for good news.
The worst news of the evening was also the most shocking. It could be that the presidential election will not happen next year. Oh, my goodness! How long will these self-serving government officials continue serving themselves? This may happen because…brace for this…the commission on election may run out of time preparing how to do the election next year. The COMELEC is right now on the bidding stage for the computerization of the electoral process next year. But there have been a lot of trouble with the bidders. (Well in good they have detected the trouble brewing.) By the time they decide to do the election manually because the computers are not yet ready, they will have no more time to prepare because they have been so preoccupied with nothing! Another waste of taxpayers’ precious pesos.
These have been the reasons why I hate watching news on TV. I don’t know if the rating goes high whenever the scoop caters on how bad our luck is. They say that news networks are just doing their jobs, but to broadcast a bad news when we are dining makes me want to choke on my own vomit. So as not to die with a very embarrassing post-mortem autopsy, I change channel and watch the government news network. As expected, the government has been spending wisely all taxpayers’ hard earned money. It always forces a smile on my full mouth. What makes me laugh though is how bad some of the Palace officials speak English. We are not native speakers of the language, but if I am the press secretary, well, I should be one of the best speakers of the land. This is not so bad news however. It’s just plain comedy of errors.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
SUCKER FOR HIGH HOPES
The right to suffrage is guaranteed in the constitution. It is an inalienable right of every person who is in the age of majority. The right affords every citizen of a country the freedom to vote whoever he wants to bring his voice to government. Majority of officials in the country are elected by the people. Unfortunately, election in this country has turned into a circus of some sort. The officials running for office are the performers and the people, the audience. There are several sorts of odd personalities who have run for office whose only qualification is that they can read (without comprehension) and write (the alphabet). They danced and sang their way to office. Surprisingly some of them won. This is because the electorate themselves are no more than just mere real life circus audience. Filipinos are fun loving but do not think of their future that much. We live by what is today. Election time, circus today…gone will be the fun the next day.
Next summer, May 2010, we will again be electing the highest official of the land. There will be another election for president of the country, unless some idiots up there in Congress will be successful in amending the constitution. I hate lawmakers when they keep on amending the charter for their own selfish motives. Who does not? We have definitely not learned our lessons yet. To assure of clean, honest and fair elections, as early as this month, May 2009, several cause oriented groups have launched campaigns already. Whoa! Their respective activities will run for one year. This will cost much; however, in the name of clean election every centavo that will have been spent is worth it. It is noteworthy that one of these cause-oriented groups targets the young electorate, basically the neophyte first timers. The campaign kicked off well through a nationwide telecast. I hope their noble intentions will be sustained until the Election Day.
Embarrassingly, I have not voted in three major elections, so I was deleted in the voters’ list. For two occasions, I was not home and it was impractical really for me to fly home just to cast my vote. I would have wanted to be a flying voter, but my guts got me before my feet landed me in the precinct. In the last occasion, I purposely did not register. I did fall in line to be officially listed, but the inefficiency of the process got into my system and I was so irritated about how unprofessional everything was done. I left my queue and went home together with my best friend. This year, however, I registered again. Not that my vote matters. Seldom has one vote made a winning difference to any lucky elected government official. I plan to run for office. I have set my eyes into it long before I became a school administrator. It is part of my career path. I am targeting 40. By this age I should be in office whether elected or appointed. Definitely, I will play the game with all honesty and fairness I could muster. I cannot betray the confidence others place upon me whether having been elected or appointed to office of public trust. The right to vote is sacred.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I AM SO PISSED OFF TODAY
Patience is a virtue. Only a few men are gifted with this. I am not one but I know how to be patient. This is because each one of us is different from each other. One’s abilities and strengths may not be another’s. I may be capable of teaching, so everything about education I know much better than an engineer, for example. The latter may be good with strengths of materials and how to build structures which unfortunately I am not. I can talk and talk and talk without stopping. Others may not be able to do this, but they may be good in carpentry which sadly I am not. With these things in mind, I have taught myself how to be patient. My patience, therefore, is born from necessity and not inborn. Because my work requires me to deal with people from all ages and all walks of life, I have to be civil, keep my calm and be patient as my wits can hold me sane.
I was able to sleep well last night so I woke up this morning feeling good as well. Although I woke up quite late, I was all ready to face the new day. I had spaghetti for brunch and toasted bread. I ate contentedly as I watched some news on TV. The US serviceman who open fired to some of his comrades inside a mind wellness clinic in Iraq did not surprise me at all. He could be suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome which is very common to military men in the battlefield. I just hope he was not so impatient to wait for his turn and kill all those before him. My patience was tested to the same stress level as my day progressed. When I was in the middle of my workout, some people were looking for me. They were the same people whose favor I politely turned down a week ago. They were asking for a monetary contribution to hire a band for the fiesta procession. I could have been very generous if I have something to give; however, for now I am just flat broke. Every penny I have has been budgeted for me to last until the middle of June when I will have received my first pay for the next school year as a principal. Surely, I was irritated but I still promised to give something tomorrow.
After taking my shower, I saw somebody outside. I asked my mom who the person was looking for. She was my student in the local college where I am a part time teacher. She was the third to be asking for grades in College Writing today. I blew my top but I did not show it for I am only scantily clad in a bath towel. I was not able to compute for their final grades because they were so late (by two months) in submitting their term paper. I was only able to compute four of the 21 students I had. Clearly, it was not my fault that they do not have the grades until today. They just submitted their respective papers online and I still have to read them. Because it is vacation time, I refused to do any work related with school. I am so feed up with ten months of working diligently in school. I believed that I more than deserved this break. I did not talk with my student. I asked my mom to tell her I could not give them their grades for now. I will personally hand their grades to the registrar as soon as the new academic year starts.
I have no enough cash on hand today. This is why I was so irritated with the fiesta contribution they asked from me. To add more stress to my brewing top, my mom told me that the toilet cleaning set (of dubious chemicals) was due today. This just did it and I let out a loud sigh of frustration. My mother got a hell of scolding from me. I asked her not to patronize anymore those bogus products. We can by the same at half the price from the local supermarket. I am literally broke and so much stressed. My stress level reached an all time high when the oven ran out of precious LPG. My mom was in the middle of cooking something, I had no money to buy a replacement tank and I was so much stressed already, I decided not to eat. Suddenly I lost all my appetite. I can be very angry but I do not want to do it in front of my mom. I ran out of patience today that I locked myself in the room and fell asleep as late as 5 this afternoon.
Patience is a virtue. Born out of necessity, I taught myself how to be patient. I may have succeeded in some occasions but today I dismally failed. As I reflected on what took place today, I would like to believe that I was not responsible for all the bad luck that befell us all. I had no money to give because last week I already told the chapel officials that I was not donating. I did not have anything extra to give, simple. All cash I have has been budgeted already. I could not give grades because the students submitted late, and I hate very much people who cannot understand what a deadline is. My fourth year English students knew this by heart. My mom did not tell me ahead of time that a payment was due today. I had no money and we could not even cook a decent meal without sweating a lot inside the dirty kitchen. What a life! I would have liked to shout and break things whatever I can get hold of. These are my ugly and violent ways to release pent up anger. However, my saner self prevailed. I am stressed. My patience has been worn out thin. I will definitely sleep with a heavy heart tonight.
Monday, May 11, 2009
'TIL DEATH DO US PART
It definitely is a cliché to say that man is destined either to get married or stay single. Some say it is fate that dictates this or that it has already been written in the stars. (Whoa!) Thinking about life and as I mature, I am more inclined to believe that to stay single or get married is a matter of choice. I am single yet and this has been my choice. There are several reasons why marriage is not yet life’s option to me. For now, I have all the freedom to do whatever I want to do and go wherever I want to go. I have nobody to care so much and think about whatever the consequences of my decisions and actions are. I definitely feel free. It has always been my dream to be bad – act badly and enjoy the risk that comes with the gamble. Surely, I can only do this when there is no string attached to me – relationship that is. I don’t want to hurt my loved ones. Because there are still wild things I want to do, I have decided marriage is not yet for me…for now.
Having rested my case, I don’t want to say that those who get married today are way beyond their hay days. I also do not want to insinuate that those who get married today are fed up with being single. Whatever their reasons are, definitely marrying couples have only love to feign about why. This month I have two former students who are marrying. Both are guys and coincidentally were also once classmates. I know both to be very hard working. One was quite loud and short tempered but I know today his soon to be wife has tamed him. The other one was a shy guy and according to his soon to be wife still remains the shy guy he was once before. I know both their soon to be wives. Both women have been my colleagues. (Coincidence No.2) The first is a feisty woman but a lady inside. I consider her my younger sister. She’s very close to me that her mother thought we were more than friends. The other lady is sweetly close to me because she is our school nurse and I happen to always confer with her in matters of health among our students.
I am all too happy for both couples. Both marriages are still to be solemnized and I have been invited in both occasions. I am the veil sponsor for the first couple. I am one of the principal sponsors for the second one. I cannot help but feel excited for both events that today I called up my friend and ask for the color motif to match my barong. Though both marriages come in a time when the whole world is feeling the economic crunch, I hope their first few months as married couples will be all right. There will definitely be bumps along the rough roads ahead but am sure they will survive. I will definitely tell them later that the sole thing that can make both their marriages work is communication. Each partner should communicate and maintain an open mind for the other. It is not only love that makes marriages work and last forever. Successful marriage also takes a lot of communication, dialogue, a listening ear and a forgiving heart. I know these things but definitely I am not yet the marrying species. I still enjoy the carefree life of being single. I still want to be bad and enjoy the risk that comes with the gamble. Marrying though is one big gamble, but I cannot engage in one for now. Yet…
Sunday, May 10, 2009
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Today is Mother’s Day. Of both parents, the mother has been more honored than the father. Mothers do not deserve more than fathers. Just there are sacrifices that a mother is more willing to give than a father. This is the reason I think why there is much fuss with Mother’s Day than the one for fathers. Frankly, I am not even so familiar when the latter is supposed to be celebrated. I planned to cook for Mom today, but before this took place I still had to contend myself with the eight-hour power failure. Again our pet cat woke me up. He’s into this everyday now and I find it so cute. I cannot ask for more every morning. I though woke up groggy because I slept at 3a.m. My mother has already rice brewing in the cooker in anticipation of the brownout. This is one simple thing that makes mothers more special. They have attention to details for the good of everyone.I promised my Mom that she had to go to the market today and buy whatever she wanted me to prepare for this special day. I had told her three days ago that I would like to cook binignit in the afternoon. I knew she liked this much. After she came back from the market, she right away told me she was not able to buy desiccated coconut. There was no electricity to power the desiccators, so I forgot. As I was looking at what she bought, I surmised that she wanted me to cook spaghetti. This is another reason why I love mothers and my Mom especially. They settle for simpler things in life. They would rather sacrifice their own needs to better give or accommodate others. I think this is every mother’s instinct.
I slept because it was too hot after lunch. This was, however, after I was through cooking the binignit. I woke up at around four in the afternoon with mom asking me if I want to eat with her. I sure did. We ate the binignit but she could not help herself from moving here and there. She told me my younger sister was coming to dine with us over spaghetti. Mom also added that she would be bringing with her chicken and barbecued pork. As I was looking at my mother, she seemed too contented with these simple things in life. She cleaned the dinnerware intended to be used. She prepared all the ingredients for the spaghetti. She set the table. All I was to do was cook and the thought has put so much pressure for me to deliver. I did deliver. Cooking is my other forte. We ate dinner together with my nephew and niece. Looking at my mother, I knew she was happy for the day. She did not ask so much from me because she knew that everyday for me is Mother’s Day!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
GOOD HAIR CUT ON A BAD HAIR DAY
I visited my friend barber today. Obviously, I got my hair cut and my facial hair trimmed. As I mentioned before, I always look forward to every visit I make to Louie, my barber. It took me quite longer to pay him a visit. It is vacation time-no class-so I need not have to sport a slacker hair style the way I did when there are classes. My hair has grown quite funny. The hair on both temporal sides grows faster than the parietal portion. This gives an impression that I have pattern baldness. Bald or what, I don’t care. I have shaved my head shiny before. I even like it skinhead, but in school it does not work very well. I just don’t know why my senior administrators don’t want me to have my head shaved. Since I will be back in school on May 18, I must have my hair cut. I should sport a cleaner look because our students’ parents and my colleagues expected me to, and I hate this very much.
When I arrived at the barbershop there were still two blokes ahead of me. I still had to wait, though the first one was almost through. After quite a while, Louie worked on the second guy. As I was waiting, a girl classmate in high school saw me. She was one of my close friends when we were still in high school. She was unassuming before and still is today. What I remembered about her was mathematics. She was good in math. She is a teacher now, a language teacher more specifically Filipino. This is unexpected because most people who are good in mathematics hate languages. As we were talking (she was waiting for somebody), she asked me how their high school students were doing in college. She wanted to know how their English was, I think. I taught remedial English and writing across discipline in college. She expected my answer. I told her not only their students but most students fare badly in college English in all four macro-skills.
As it was already my turn on the barber’s chair, our conversation continued now together with my barber friend. She told me students fare badly in both languages-English and Filipino-because they don’t care about the subjects and learning them. I affirmed what she told us. I also added that students today do not study their lessons. They do not read their books anymore and do their assignments only in school just few moments before checking or submission. Louie added that there is indeed so much to be desired of the students today. However, deep within myself I thought it should not only be the students who are at fault here. Teachers should be blamed of the deteriorating quality of high school education in the country. There are so many teachers who are incompetent. Parents too must be blamed. Academic success is highly correlated with how much parents spend time with their children on their school work.
As I left the barbershop I have these realizations in my mind. I have indeed grown older and more mature with life. Whenever somebody talks of more sensible things, I always like the idea. I am very fascinated when the talk becomes more socially relevant. I always experience this in the barbershop, and only older people love to talk about social problems. Another thing that I realize is that there are still teachers who are more than willing to change the current education system in the country. One is my former classmate and another older teacher who is with her. They are also frustrated with so much bureaucracy in the system that the more pressing needs and concerns were set aside for more personal gains among government officials. These officials are supposed to be working for improved and better quality education in the country. As good as my new cut looks, this still cannot resurrect the dying education system of the country. So sad!
Friday, May 8, 2009
LIFE SUCKS!
I felt so tired for two days now. Every time I feel so tired, I know I am depressed again. There were just so many problems that I had to face this week. Real life is supposed to be full of problems. However, I wish I will one day live in a place quite far from people (but not isolated) where I can just be myself. It is a place where I be the one dictating time, where there is no time prescribed to finish things or deadlines. It will be a place where routine is unheard of. I want to stay in a place where I do not have to think of when to eat and when to wake up in the morning. It will be a place where I live free without the cares of others or me caring in return. It will be I and nature, all alone. I want to run out of mundane problems that wear me off. Thinking of these problems leaves me so much tired.
I felt so tired the other day after waking up in the morning. I did not blame my workout for my bad mood. I just had so many small and irritating things bothering me. These problems were not mine but somehow I got affected by them. Thus, I decided to do my workout in the afternoon. I did not have the energy to do it in the morning. Maybe I was so excited for the change in schedule that I was not able to nap after lunch. Because of the hot weather, I usually take a short nap after lunch. I began my warm up and stretching at about 4p.m. and after two hours I was through with all – warm up, cardio, weights, abs and cool down. I felt fine the next day; however, I had a hard time coping up with the new schedule. I overslept until 4 yesterday that I woke up so groggy to start working out at almost 6p.m. This was too late that I ended up rushing on almost everything. Today, I went back to my usual morning workout.
I was not able to write anything yesterday because I was awfully tired. I know this is more mental than physical. I am now on my third week of working out and I am feeling and seeing results already. I feel lighter and I do not have difficulty breathing anymore. The slight muscle sore perks me up every morning as I wake up. The slight pain reminds me of little successes. I tried again this afternoon a stretch Adidas shirt I had, and I was happy it fitted me quite right. Last month, I could not get inside the shirt without looking like a bursting bag of potato chips. I felt happy. But overall, I am not feeling very positive lately. There are problems that are bothering me, and I hate when people think I seem to have the answer to every problem there is in this world. I would like to be happy for the trust afforded me but mentally I am so drained. I don’t want to live any more any longer. Life sucks and it is sucking me down the vortex to nowhere.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
SING HOPEFULLY NOT TO OBLIVION
The country has a number of national symbols. These symbols represent the Philippines, the Filipinos and their aspirations. That is why these symbols are held in very high regard. One national symbol, however, has always been in controversial light. Because of its very nature, the national anthem – Lupang Hinirang – has been the cause of confusion, object of bewilderment and sadly, butt of a joke. When all of us were once young, we were taught in schools how to sing the national anthem. Unfortunately, only a few schools taught us how to sing it not just well but correctly. The national anthem was written with a marching tempo in the mind of Julian Felipe. Its time signature is 4/4. Through time, however, we have forgotten really how to sing the Lupang Hinirang correctly, and the newer generation does the same too.
During a boxing bout before, one celebrity singer forgot some lines when singing the Philippine national anthem. Obviously, this has caused so much stir not just in the reel world but even in schools. From then on we asked our students to sing the national anthem without accompaniment every morning during the flag ceremony. This may be less apropos but we gave it a shot though. We even asked students to give the beat and lead the singing. We have noticed that whenever students were left alone, they had the tendency to sing the anthem in a much slower tempo, not marching. What we did was to ask the one beating to do it in 2/2 time and much faster because it is supposed to be a march. Most of them said, however, that they were taught to sing it that way – incorrectly.
The most recent brouhaha regarding the singing of the national anthem was during the Pacquiao – Hatton boxing fight. Although Martin Nievera was told earlier that he must sing the national anthem the right way, he made his own arrangement and sang it the way he wanted it sung. He started slowly with the first four lines (first stanza). The rest of the song was, however, sung in a marching tempo. Not so much a problem until he reached the last stanza. He was so theatrical with crooning to his heart’s content the final lines, my mouth was left agape. When everything sank in my mind, I let out a very loud laugh. What was he trying to do? The national anthem is sung at the beginning of programs for everyone to accompany. How then would people sing with Martin when suddenly he changed the tune? Some people might have appreciated what he did, but the Philippine Historical Commission was not happy about it and even demanded for Martin to apologize.
Martin was not the first to sing the national anthem in either wrong tempo or tune. However, because he is famous, he is now asked to apologize. I think Martin need not apologize. Of all those I have heard sang the Lupang Hinirang, Martin’s version was the most correct. I don’t want Martin to apologize too. There are even more government officials out there who cannot sing the national anthem alone from start to finish. What is important is neither the tempo nor the tune. How many of us live by what the national anthem wants us to be? We are so strict of how it should be sung, but we forget what is it meant to be for us Filipinos. The song embodies the ideals of our forefathers which we are supposed to uphold today. I think what is more important is the meaning of the song to us Filipinos, not how it should be sung. However, I will appreciate more if it be sung next time correctly.