VOYEURISTIC DELIGHT THROUGH A GLASS DOOR

I Am Intimidatingly Bad Today

Yesterday, we were visited by my Grade VI teacher. She was one of my best grade school teachers. She taught me English very well. She was also a disciplinarian. She did not care more the student but understanding the subject matter was her top priority. She was more subject rather than student centered teacher. But I had no regrets. I learned a lot from her and I grew to be a more responsible(?) person because of how she made us behave and conduct ourselves before.

On somewhat like a motherly joke, she told me that our students were not courteous. This did not come as a total surprise to me. I myself can vouch that most of our students lack courtesy. Coming from my former teacher, however, the comment left a sour aftertaste. Last year, she also visited and observed that our senior class was noisy. Two points or the lack of it, I do care. This may be a reflection on how bad I was as an instructional leader and school administrator. I would like to be sad, but I believed we have done our best.

So, I staged my early resurrection today - Friday the 13th of March. I become the resurrected teacher from hell this morning, and all of hell, thus, broke loose. No! Do not think I got back on my students because of my former teacher's comment. Only angels think of that, and I know you are not. My purpose was to make them realize what I have long been thinking about them. This time, however, and sadly, it took somebody from outside to affirm what I have told them already. Was I sad about everything? Nope, I felt vindicated that I was indeed right from the very start.

Before the morning ceremonies, I started my torment. Loudly blaring in the school's PA system, I announced what my favorite grade school teacher has just affirmed, that they, our students, lack good manners. I also added that because we have done so much and almost everything to instill upon them the manners and the conduct befitting an educated person, there could only be three reasons why they remained uncivilized brutes: 1) Their parents failed to teach them manners, 2) Their parents are setting the bad example, and 3) Their family is confused of what are good and what are bad manners. So sad...we have to throw the blame now back home.

As if my blaring torment fell on deaf ears, as I was sitting inside the faculty room, several students kept on getting back and forth inside the room without even having their presence acknowledged, much more asked permission if they be allowed to enter. This irked me so much that I reprimanded one girl student to her utter embarrassment. I liked the latter part so much. I improvised a sign of "No Entry" and hanged it on the faculty room door. To my voyeuristic delight, students just stopped dead by the glass door, instead of barged in, only to eavesdrop who were inside the room. Foolishly interesting!

I would like to laugh at how child-like I have reacted with the sad comment and the reactions of our students. I knew it did not help the problem. It rather made the problem worse. But it is human's sadistic nature to find so much delight in the torment of others. I felt so happy with what happen today. Could it be that indeed I was from hell before I got reincarnated (or should it be resurrected) as the good-altar-boy teacher? I knew I have violent, sadistic tendencies. I can control them; however, being elated by tormenting others, lately, were all my heart is craving for.

Welcome, Hellboy!